Partner always criticising, but know its true, don't have the energy for this

[mumofeight]

Sorry, feel free to ignore, just need to get this all out. DP has never been what you would call supportive. He comes in from work and promptly starts doing housework, because I haven't done it all. I do try, but theres too much work and not enough time. As fastas I tidy up, the kids come through and it looks like a bomb site again. I try getting the kids to help. the 16 yr old grunts at me or throws a wobbly. He is stressed out anyway because of his exams, yet however much I nag or encourage he does little or no revision.

The 15 yr old will help but only if he is paid, trouble being we are living off my child tax credits at the moment because dp is setting up his own business, after paying the rent, gas, electric, water, food etc theres sod all left.

The 3 yr old does try, but its sometimes more effort to get her to do something, than to do it myself. The 15 month old is the wrst of the bunch, cannot take my eyes off him for a secomnd and hes doing something he shouldn't.

Dp puts me down all the time, I know I am overweight, and I am trying to lose weight, but sometimes there is just not enough time and I end up eating junk just to eat

DP rarely takes me out and I cannot afford to go out with friends as I have no money. Things really came to a head this week. I applied to take part in a wellknown ITV show where the presenters tell the participants what they should wear to best enhance their figures. I told dp, he roared with laughter, I really mean he roared, it was not a chuckle, or a grin it was him stood there laughing at me. If even he, the man who is supposed to love me the most thinks that I am too fat and ugly for something like that, what chance do I have? I keep crying. We have rowed like we have never done before, He told me a few weeks ago that he wouldn't marry me until we got on better. to me that just says that he will not make a commitment, so that he is free to walk out the door when ever he wants. I don't want to lose him, I love him to pieces, but I am so unhappy, I want to lose weight, but don't seem to be able to, can't afford weightwatchers or slimming world, can't afford to pamper myself, but look like a sack of manure.

No idea what to do, where to go from here. Sorry feel free to ignore this. I needed to get it out to see if it would help me think more clearly, it hasn't ! I suffer from depression, and have been doing really well recently, now, just feel like pants again. Already on max medication, so nothing more that anyone can do there. Need to lose weight, earn a few thousand and have a face lift, and maybe a personality transplant too.

Please excuse my self pitying whinge. I know theres alot of people worse off than me

STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are not worthless, you are a beautiful person. You just have forgotten it.

at your husband. You don't deserve to be treated like that. Nobody does. How dare he laugh at you for trying to make things better for yourself.

If you don't respect yourself you can't expect your children to respect you, so you need to fix that before you can fix your teens behavior.

Housework is hard have you tried the fly lady?

So sorry you feel like this and I think this is brought on by your partner making you feel worthless.

1. If you get on the show - do it.
2. Try not to obsess about your weight too much - ignore the rubbish going on around you and eat when hungry.
3. Kids need kick up the arse - they need to show more respect as does dp
4. Make some time to regain the old you. You have a lot on but your older kids are more than capable of pulling their weight.

You're worth it and don't let anyone, but anyone tell you otherwise. hugs

Of course you are overeating at the moment. You are giving giving giving and getting nothing back. You have two under threes who are hugely demanding, two teenagers who are also hugely demanding (especially during exam season), and the man you love and who you are supporting financially and practically is not only ungrateful but undermines you at every opportunity, and on top of that you have no money. No wonder you compensate with overeating - it's a cheap and easy way of giving yourself the rewards and thanks you should be getting from your family.

You don't need a diet, you need some counselling. Relate will see you for free, or talk to your doctor. If you can turn around your life and relationship, I bet the weight will drop off. Maybe you could start keeping a Self Congratulations diary - write down 3+ things you did well during the day every night before you go to bed.

Mumofeight, they are damn lucky to have you. Make sure they know it

your teenagers wont respect you if your dp doesnt.

i take it he is perfect in every way,as he seems to think he has the right to judge?

somehow,i suspect he's actually an insecure bully who knows he doesnt deserve a wonderful woman like you and feels the need to bash your self-esteem out of you so you believe you have to stay with him and dont deserve any better.

i agree with the others,get some councelling.

and why are you struggling on just child tax credit?if you have no other income then how come you arent claiming benefits?

if i had to survive on just child tax credits my children would have the choice of either starve or live in darkness!

i meant verbally bash by the way,i just re-read my post and it sounded like i was implying he is violent,sorry.

If he reckons he's so good at the housework, sit back and let him do it. Then do something you like with your time.

you should apply anyway, get on teh show and show him that behind the stress and worry of raising 8 children is the beautifull woman he married.

he is nto right, he is acting like a twunt.

of course you will need some help with housework...there is a bloody huge family to deal with.

8!!! Oh my goodness, you are an amazing lady!