Can you stay friends in this situation?

[lastqueenofscotland]

A very good friend of mine who I’ve known for years recently announced that he’s always had really strong feelings for me, and it’s why he’s not been able to form another lasting relationship, because they aren’t me. (Not sure why, I am a complete arse most of the time).
I’m very fond of him but see no romantic connection at all. I would however be sad to lose him as a friend.
I did try to back off a bit and also try and be very sympathetic towards him with a fairly new relationship I am in, but he has now gone quite OTT towards me. A couple o recent examples:
My car has been in the garage for a week and I probably get daily texts asking if I need his car/a lift etc.
I had something come up on Sunday that I mentioned to a friend who mentioned it to him and he was quite insistent about wanting to come round/make me dinner etc to take the weight of my feet as it were.
I was at a bbq with new DP recently and he was really being a bit overly attentive. Constantly trying to get me drinks/food/hovering...
I appreciate he’s trying to be nice but it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable especially given what he’s said to me about having feelings.

How do I broach this nicely with him? I’m a stereotypical angry Scot so not going in all guns blazing will be hard for me but I don’t want to fall out or cause a rift with other friends either.

He's put you in an impossible position really.

As a similarly blunt Scot in all honesty I'd end the friendship.

He clearly can't cope with you just being friends, he's overstepping and he'll keep hoping it'll become more.

I don't see you've much other option.

The only other thing you could do is tell him to back off, that he's behaving inappropriately, that's not how you view the friendship and if he doesn't that you can't stay friends.

You've tried being gentle, and rather than backing off, he is ramping up his attentions.

Time to be blunt. Tell him he is making you feel uncomfortable, his behaviour is inappropriate and that you think you should cool the friendship until he is over his feelings.

He will bleat that he may not ever get over his feelings, he needs you as a friend, can't bear to lose you, etc.

Stand firm - you have already lost him "as a friend" so he behaves at social situations and leaves you alone with the texting and one on one time. You don't owe him anything - he's the one who is making it weird, not you.

I've been in this situation myself, and had to back off entirely in the end because it made me feel uncomfortable.

After telling me, and me politely explaining I didn't feel the same way, it seemed to become his mission to win me over. We worked together, and despite owning my own car but chose to walk to work because it was only 5 minutes away, he'd go out of his way to catch me walking and give me a lift. And as a team leader he would arrange for just him and me to have our breaks together. He'd bring in my favourite foods and give me all the best tasks etc.

But then on one occasion I popped to the loo's and on my return I saw him smelling my cardigan that I'd left on the back of my chair.

I asked my manager to swap me to another team so I was on an opposite shift to him as the whole friendship just changed into something creepy. I then phased out the friendship altogether.

Smelling your cardigan is unhinged!
I thought I was maybe being cruel but actually sitting back and reading my post back it feels like he is trying to undermine my relationship...

Time for some harsh Scottish words to be had

On the other hand maybe this is his way of apologising and showing you he's ok with your new partner.

Just make a joke of it "ok, I get you're sorry for what you said, you don't have to become my slave to make up for it!" And see what effect that has on his behaviour. Maybe he'll back off a bit