Please don't judge me but need some advice on GP and social services

[Pleasedont]

Please don't judge me (or atleast please don't tell me I'm a shit mum) i really need some help and advice and no one to talk to IRL

I was sexually abused as a child. This led to me developing terrible depression and anxiety and an eating disorder in my teen years. I self medicated with cannabis from about 15, so for 10 years i have an addiction and it took me a long time to admit that. I have a daughter who is 1 (i know how awful this is please hear me out) i have decided to quit smoking for my daughter (again i know i should have done this LONG ago but when your addicted it isn't that easy) i haven't smoked in a week which is the longest in 10 years and its so incredibly hard (i feel pathetic even writing that). In the last 3 months my sister died and my boyfriend ended things with me without warning (not the babies father bit had been with him since i was pregnant). My depression and anxiety have gotten a lot worse and my eating disorder is coming back (not had a relapse since 19). I want to visit my GP and explain EVERYTHING so they know how best to help me. But I'm terrified they will call social services and take my baby away. Shes all I have left. Shes all I live for, this would honestly kill me.
For insight into my life despite my problems i work 3 days a week, my daughter is beautiful, hitting all her milestones and more, eats healthy meals every day. My house is spotless (I'm a bit obsessive about it and people always comment how clean and tidy it is despite having a toddler) i have never smoked in the house with the baby and follow all the rules about wearing a different coat, washing hands etc. And would only ever smoke weed when she was in bed and asleep.
Will my GP refer me to social services do you think? If they do will they take my baby? I want to ask for help but im terrified of the consequences so wonder if its better to just omit the about weed BUT I feel its a problem that I need professional help with. I can't sleep since I quit (common side effect) so was hoping they could prescribe me a short term sleeping pill or something? I understand how awful i sound and really dont need a kicking, im good at kicking myself. Does anyone know likely action GP will take? Would social services take my baby when im trying my best to change and everything else in my life is in order (clean house, happy healthy baby etc.) ?

My neighbour smokes weed with children in the house. Unfortunately. As far as I’m aware this isn’t illegal, though it should be. Correct me if I am wrong.
I can’t see he gp referring you to SS for smoking weed alone.
You should go and explain the situation and get help.
Well done for recognising the problem, a lot of people wouldn’t

No they won't. Please don't worry. I was a habitual cannabis, giving up is the best thing you can do for your child. If you are/were also addicted to tobacco then take a substitute such as lozenges. Well done for giving up. Seriously, you will not regret it x x

I feel incredibly sad reading your post OP. You sound like an an absolutely amazing mother and no, of course they won’t take your child from you. You have been through so much and you are doing such a great job. You don’t need a kicking and shouldn’t be kicking yourself. You don’t need to go through this alone, go to your GP and get some support in place. And post here if you feel it helps. You aren’t going to say this to yourself so I will say it for you, you are a good mum. Your daughter is loved, cherished and well taken care of. Now take care of you too.

I think that by proactively seeking help, showing that you’re already making changes by yourself and being committed to continuing to improve, you’re showing the GP you’re a good mum. As far as I know, social services aim to keep families together unless children are at risk. It doesn’t sound to me as though your daughter is at risk.

As an immediate fix for the sleep thing, try spending plenty of time outdoors in the day and then no screens for at least 2 hours before bedtime (read, have a bath with a cup of chamomile tea, do some drawing, potter about getting breakfast stuff ready for tomorrow, whatever instead).

And I am so incredibly sorry about your sister . There are no words for that. Talking therapy might be helpful, and something you could ask the GP about.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

Honestly I wouldn’t tell the GP about the weed I would go to narcotics anonymous instead.

The GP will want to help you and if you are open that lets them offer you the full range help you can.
Yes it's true in social services your childhood makes you vulnerable as a parent but the eloquent informed post you have written shows that you are already at a stage so many mothers with your past can't reach without help and even then some falter. You are doing really well and a GP and if necessary family services will want to help you reach your goals.
Please remember the legal criteria for removing a child is that it's absolutely the last resort to protect a child and you are already doing a great job of protecting your child
Good luck

Well done op for quitting and for being brave and seeking help.
I am so sorry about what happened to you, no child should ever have to go through that.
You sound like an amazing mother and your daughter is very lucky. She will grow up and have a beautiful life and not have the affects of abuse because her mother actively sought help for herself. I think you are brilliant!

Social services will go to court only in the worst case scenario and there is a long road to get there (they have to evidence that they have tried everything else, and that your child is being harmed to an extent that they need to be removed). They don't have the power to remove your child, they have to ask the court to make an order for that to happen and a threshold has to be met, the threshold being immediate significant harm which is not the case here. In scenarios where the child has been removed without a court order that is called s20 and is with agreement from the parents which can be withdrawn any time the parents choose, and I don't think you're anywhere near being asked to consider that. It's extremely expensive to place a child in care, social services really don't like doing it unless they have to in order to protect the child.

You may be put on either a child in need plan or child protection plan (from what you've said, I'd say most likely child in need) and they may ask you to engage with the local drugs service. It may be worth referring yourself to the local service in any case as they will be able to offer more specialist advice than your GP.

Good luck - from your post it sounds like you're an excellent mum.

Thank you for your kind responses everyone, they really helped. mydcaremarvel i thought narcotics anonymous was more for class A drugs?

There will most likely be more people addicted to class A drugs yes, but definitely people who addicted to cannabis only.

They most definitely would not take your baby. Well done for wanting to make changes and take all the support you can. Social services arnt to be scared of, they are there to help and support too

I'm a social worker. The GP probably won't refer just for smoking weed, especially because you are seeing then to access support for reducing it and quitting.

If they choose to refer it, nothing will be done by social care.

And it's nowhere near threshold for a child being removed at court. Nowhere near at all.

Some parents are able to use heroin and crack cocaine while bringing up children and social care know about it, so weed isn't really going to register.

Don't worry. And I hope you succeed in quitting.

Definitely not, they don't want to take children unless the truly have to. I would certainly seek the help you need and don't let the past beat you. I have a one year a also and have Borderline personality disorder. I have manic episodes and I worry all the time but I know I'm a great mum, just like you are. We all struggle in our own ways but as long as we do what's right for the children that's all that matters. Good luck :)

I work in MH services, and I highly doubt your GP would make a social services referral on the back of what you have written.Well done for seeking help, not sure about services in your area but where I am theres excellent support available through the drug and alcohol team, who also provide strategies to help with anxiety and low mood. Be honest, you sound really motivated and I’m sure you’ll work hard with any support they can offer you. Sorry you’ve had such a rough time recently

Wow OP you should be so proud of yourself. Well done for talking to the GP. Don't be scared of the outcome, be excited. You have done amazing

Hi pleasedont- well done for seeking help - you seem like you are doing a great job with your daughter and your house sounds in a much better state than mine.
Re seeing your GP or any other professional IF they are concerned THEY are meant to tell you that they are going to refer you to social services.
I don’t know where you live but if you google local drug and alcohol services something may come up - I’m in London so we have a lot here.
Some of them you can self refer to - there is also a website www.talktofrank & look up - detoxing from cannabis - goog luck.

You’re doing so so well op and I honestly don’t think the GP will send a referral to SS. You clearly love your daughter and are doing all you can. I’m so sorry to hear about your sister, that must have been incredibly hard. Not to mention the sexual abuse, you’re incredible to have survived so much hurt. Please please seek out support with your GP, they will want to and can help you.

You can do this!