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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Crush, bit of fun or misreading things completely?

2 replies

justthisguy · 02/07/2018 20:31

Hoping someone might be able to provide some insight!

Myself and a work colleague both recently became single. We’ve worked together for years although rarely socialised and were both taken for all of that time. That said, she’s someone I’ve always respected.

When it came to light I’d become single again things became a bit weird. Suddenly she was acting coy around me (and she is not a shy person - quite the opposite!) staring at her feet in my company and being a bit jittery. Out of nowhere I randomly began to feel some chemistry and began to start a crush. I started a conversation with her which was lovely - we got on and sparked - but since then she’s gone from being flustered to sort-of knowingly coy. Like one time she followed me out a door and smirked whilst looking away. So I guess she’s guessed I have crush - but now it feels like she sees it as a game. The smirk just came across as a bit too knowing and self-satisfied. At the same time she’s turning up at work wearing rather short dresses but then again it is very warm and perhaps she’s always dressed this way but until now I didn’t notice.

Neither of us are hormonal teeenagers. We’re both professionals in our thirties. And I’ll be the first to admit that whilst I keep quite trim, I’m hardly tall and handsome. So is this flirting just a bit of a “pick me up” having come out of a long relationship with no genuine attraction? Or is there actually something going on? Or is this all in my head?

Yes, I am a clueless bloke. Help!

OP posts:
JellyBoat · 02/07/2018 21:45

I think you're being really unkind about the smirk. Usually a smirk is just a suppressed smile and it might just mean that she fancies you. Or she's feeling generally awkward. Or she was thinking about something entirely unrelated to you. Rather than being 'self-satisfied' Confused That's an awful thing to think about somebody you say you respect. Just ask her out for a drink. And be nice. She doesn't owe you anything and she's allowed to smirk, or look at her shoes, or behave awkwardly, without being accused of leading you on.

justthisguy · 02/07/2018 22:13

Sorry, you’re right. It does sound awful in retrospect. I guess I just felt vulnerable in that moment and interpreted it badly. My bad.Blush

OP posts:
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