SiL pregnant and I'm possibly infertile

[sadandfeelingselfish]

So to keep it short and to the point. I know I'm being ridiculous and selfish but has anybody been in the same boat and got any advice on how to cope with this?

My sister in law has just found out she's pregnant. She's very young (still in college). I'm in my twenties and have had trouble conceiving. I've got PCOS and endometriosis and I've been told I'm possibly infertile (I know nothing is certain and I'm still young). When I was first told (around February this year), I felt I dealt with it brilliantly and it didn't bother me. However over the last couple of months it's changed. I want a baby so badly. I have had to unfollow/unfriend people announcing pregnancies etc because it's hard for me to see. I want to be happy for her so badly, I think it's brilliant but I can't seem to stop feeling sick and upset and I don't know how I'm going to deal with the next 7 months or so being around her etc as I see her a lot.

How can I put my feelings aside and be involved and be happy for her? I feel like a terrible, selfish person for being sad when I should be happy for her and not thinking of myself.

I don't have any advice, but I know it hard for you

I've been in your position- and the best piece of advice I ever was given was to remember that you want your baby, not someone else's wink]

I may also add that I conceived 2 sons eventually with PCOS and a husband with ED so hang in there x

I've been in your position too, with PCOS. My Sil had a child the year after I found out, and the world felt like it was full of pregnant women. My OH and my mum were brilliant and supported me knowing how I must feel but my Mum did not let me feel sorry for myself and said early on to me that other people shouldn't be expected to not have children just because at that point in time, I couldn't commit - and she was right!

If it helps, despite having no trackable cycle, I conceived with Clomid on our 2nd attempt. A few years later I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant with our second child, so infertility isn't necessarily insurmountable.

*I don't know where 'commit' came from????

How can I put my feelings aside and be involved and be happy for her? I feel like a terrible, selfish person for being sad when I should be happy for her and not thinking of myself.

You don't have to put your feelings aside. A loving family would never expect you to.

You send her a message, or go and see her very low key, with your DP in tow, and say to her "I'm going to be really honest with you. I'm really struggling right now with reduced fertility and we've been trying for a long time. It really makes me feel [give honest feelings]. I'm overjoyed that you're having this baby and I plan to aunty the hell out of her/him! But please understand if I don't respond to a FB post within hours, its not because I don't care, it's because I am feeling overwhelmed. "