Family not asking how we're doing

[Minniemountain]

This may seem like a minor thing but I'm hurt and don't know what to do about it.
DH had a knee operation 4 weeks ago after an accident playing hockey. DF was supposed to visit us 2 weeks after that but I put him off as DH was still incapacitated to the point of needing to wee in a bottle in the living room (no downstairs loo) and I was doing everything at home, including caring for our 4yo and working pt.
DF offered to help but I explained that there wasn't much he could do and we needed it to be just us for a bit. He doesn't play with DS really.
Since then, I've heard nothing from him and I'm hurt that he's not bothered to ask how we're doing.
DSis hasn't thought to ask either.
I've got mixed up feelings about DF after I questioned his behaviour towards me and DSis last year (making time for her to visit him but not me) and got told I was childish and "after all I've done for you".
I think I'm asking "is it ok to be hurt by this or am I over taking it?".
DS and I are visiting DF in 3 weeks and DSis will be there.

I'm confused. Your DF offered help and you turned it now. Now you're hurt that he hasn't offered again? But you already told him 'there isn't much he can do'... He was probably hurt by that. I would stay away too, to be honest.

Maybe DF thought you were giving him the brush off when you wouldnt let him visit. His kind offer of help was rebuffed, so he's withdrawn a bit. It does sound a bit childish of you tbh - are you and dsis in some sort of competition?
We're a bit short of information here. Why are you visiting for 3 weeks? Do you live a long way away?

Your father asked to visit, you said no.
Your father offered to help, you said no.
Now you're upset that your father hasn't asked how you're getting on!
What else is he meant to do?

Sometimes we are simply wrong. It is hard to look in the mirror and say: I'm wrong here and dad is right.
Based on what you've said, you're making something out of nothing.

What Disquieted said.

So your dh has to wee in a bottle and you have to do all the housework, work pt and look after one child. I think you should put away the hair shirt. Also, he did offer and you turned him down. Get a life.

I'm hurt that he's not asked how we're doing.
The visit to him is IN 3 weeks, but yes, we do live a long way away.
There genuinely wasn't anything he could do and DH was on codine and not wanting to have to worry about peeing in front of his Fil.
Fair enough if I'm wrong.
I've lost my perspective on my relationship with DF this last year.

Cricrichan there's no need to be so rude. Not everyone who posts in Relationships has to be going through a life changing event.

Look at this from your Dad’s angle, numerous offers of help, which you’ve declined.

He’s probably thinking he’s done something wrong.

It’s a knee. It’s not up there with truest serious things. Everyone’s entitled to feel hurt when family don’t do small things that show care so you aren’t being unreasonable however it’s not a major issue and I’d think I’d just shrug and move on.

Have ten minutes thinking they don’t care then get on with it.

Two offers of help, not "numerous" to be clear. We have communicated since.
Thank you for people who have given me some genuine perspective on it.