Am I being silly ... longish post

[Mummy19802b]

Stop worrying about other people

It’s as simple as that but something I’m really struggling with

It seems to have got worse as I’m heading towards forty weirdly enough

I always felt that I was a friendly easy going person and I still am but my opinion of myself and how others see me has started to bug me especially

I have a few issues with relationships within my life

One is my sister who I love dearly but I just feel irritated with her ‘me me’attitude , I’m not a jealous type but I do feel a bit fedup with the fact that my parents have given her a lot more help in every aspect of life and yet for no reason they have ‘let me get on with it’even when we’ve been really struggling ... there’s never any offer of help.

And as much as I am very independent sometimes when times are hard it would be nice to be shown support by those closest ... I’ve literally dealt with PND and the death of someone very close whilst still dealing with PND and PTSD following the birth of my first child and it was a case of being left too it..it took me nearly 9 years to pick myself back up... which makes me sad

My mum just says oh you are different to your sister your stronger ... but I’m not .. I just don’t shout about my problems at every given opportunity

My husband has put up with my sadness over my family for fifteeen years

I honestly don’t know what to do

I know they are a negative force on me

I take weeks away from them and feel back to my old self

I’ve had to shut down my social media because my sister was literally tracking my every move... and then copying

She’s not a bad person but she is insanely jealous of woman and me which I have no idea why because my life is far from perfect...I only know this because she’s told me as has my mum

I think part of the reason my parents support her so much is because they feel she needs it

But I swear deep down she’s more confident then she lets on... she certainly dresses that way ...she’s not shy at all

I’d recently lost weight for health reasons

I was called vain by my sister

She then proceeded to send me a pic of a girl who bore a resemblance to me slightly but who was bigger and she said I looked just like this girl

Which I did laugh about because apart from same hair colour we are not alike at all

I just feel like she wants to knock any confidence I have and I’m tired of it

What do I do ? Am I being silly ?

Being silly about caring, or being silly about continuing to pay attention to her nonsense?

To deal with the first part, you'd have to deal with whatever issues make you feel so upset. That canbe hard to pinpoint without professional help.

It would be easier to deal with the second part, if you say you have already tried staying away and it helped.

As for your mother's attitude - have you tried telling her that you need help and are not as strong as she thinks? If you are not the type to cry in front of her etc. then she might honestly think you are managing alone.

It is perfectly appropriate, on occasion and used sparingly, to tell someone to Fuck Off.
Next time your sister tries to belittle you, tell her. Be much more assertive and no-one will have power over you.

OK, so probably not the best advice ever given.
Just don't let things get to you. Let the pettiness just roll off you. It's an indication of their inadequacies, not yours.

Maybe your ds actually asks for help, but you don't? Show your vulnerability a bit, sometimes maybe?