I just can't face anyone today and I know I have to push myself to move on from this, it just hurts! Can you help me please?

[Bubblesandcake]

I posted about my relationship breakup on my birthday last week. I know I have to push myself and have been continuing to every day. I have 2 dd's that need me. I am staying strong for them but inside I am weak. I haven't eaten properly in a few days as I wake feeling sick. I cant sleep and wake at 4am every morning. I'm a 3rd year nursing student and I can't face uni today :(
I have missed time due to my dd's being sick so shouldn't really be missing more. I just want to take them to school and come home to sleep so I can't feel this awful feeling. I know he won't be feeling this way so why am I allowing myself to feel it?!

You are grieving the loss of this man. Don't be hard on yourself you've a lot going on. Drop kids to school come home and sleep it's what you need. It will pass . Be kind to you

What else cheers you up? Music? A friend? A cake? Could you let uni know you are going through this? Could you force yourself to go for a brisk walk or run?

It will get better.

Every day since I have tried to be around people. I even had my birthday bbq but its like I'm there but not fully there. The beach, a walk and kept busy at home. Hoping every day will get easier. Today it feels like the first day again. I don't want to talk about it to friends as it's like I'm re-living it.
I really don't want to sink onto depression.
I can tell the uni. I just wasn't sure if I'm handling this right. Push myself, or not to?

You have been pushing yourself. Take a rest today and be kind to yourself. I agree, talk to uni. Can you put plans in place to get to uni tomorrow/ for your next time?

I can talk to uni and tell them I'm having personal issues. I'm scared being home will make me worse but I just have no energy to go and haven't stopped crying this morning so have puffy eyes.

Yeah I can understand that worry.

I think l taking one day and reminding yourself it's one day for rest and rejuvenation could help.

Yes, hopefully it will help.
It took me so long after my exh left 8 years ago. I suffered with depression. I know this is different as it was only 7 months. I just feel that same sense of loss.

Bubbles, you know yourself better than anyone. What do you want to do?
Try and function as best as you can.
Breathe in to 1, breathe out to 1. Breathe in to 2, breathe out to 2, and all the way to 10. If you lose track, start again. Think of the breath as an anchor.
Think of breathing in white, breathing out black.

Have a sugary cup of tea.
Be kind to yourself.
Think of your thought as passing clouds, the blue sky remains once they’ve passed.

HTH

I want to not think anymore :( stop crying!
If I'm home, I don't have to talk to anyone and if I sleep I can not think. I have no energy to force myself. I am angry I feel this way as he won't be and my dd's must sense I am sad.

Sounds like this is resonating especially hard because you've been there before.

I found that in the early days it was useful to have sleeping tablets available in case the sleep deprivation was really extreme and I absolutely needed to have got some sleep before the next day.

That sounds more than grief for relationship ending. Strongly suggest GP. You might just need a bit of help through this. Most unis have counsellors too. There’s no harm in a bit of support through the tough bit.

I was actually thinking this yesterday. I might go to the gp today for some.

Bubbles - definitely tell your tutor what’s going on and cut yourself some slack. It would probably be better if you went in and kept busy, but if you’re not up to it, so be it.

You should be able to get some counselling at Uni. All break-ups are hard, but it sounds like a lot of stuff is being brought up for you and it might help to talk through this with someone

I have emailed my tutor. I think I should get a sick note. I know I need to keep moving forward but I just can't today :(
I stayed single for a long time to avoid pain. I wasn't good at handling it. Since then my life changed, I'm a different person and thought I could handle anything. Clearly not!

This only happened last week! Perfectly reasonable not to have started moving on yet! Be nice to yourself. Go out for a really long walk in the evening so as to get fresh air and exercise and hopefully knacker yourself before bedtime. Don't go to bed until you are tired, and if you wake up anxious in the night, don't lie there worrying; get up, have a cup of tea and read a book or whatever might calm you.

I'm also a 3rd year nursing student - I broke up with my dh in 1st year. Tell uni - they can help

I have booked a GO appointment.
I have struggled financially with no support so can not afford to drop back a year. This is what my tutor is advising as I have had previous difficulties regarding lack of childcare and money to get to placements. It's been the most difficult 2.5 years but I got through it with good grades.

If you're doing a decent job under stress, it definitely sounds worth continuing, as it sounds like you'd be the perfect nurse! But do look all your options and see how it would work if you needed a break in your studies (there may turn out to be another option) or whether you might be able to get financial support. Don't put additional strain on yourself where it's not necessary.

Also don't label yourself, saying "I am weak" (or even "Now I'm a different person"). This is not about your innate character; we all feel better or worse at times depending on our circumstances. Blaming yourself for not being better in some vague way is not going to help matters now.

Definitely tell the Uni, they may be able to offer you some counselling or student services may be able to help.

Go easy on yourself too.

If you can't face eating, could you make some sugary drinks? These will help with energy levels too (if you are in the UK you need the hydration too in this heatwave).

Give yourself time. You will get through this.

I have spoken to my tutor but not the counselling service as yet. I know it's not a long term problem I have. Been to see my GP and she gave me sedative antihistamines, not sure how great they will be. I am drinking lots as yes, it's very hot. I feel sick so can't really manage anything.
I am going to take tomorrow off as it's my dd's sports day in the afternoon. Then go back in Wednesday.
Thankyou all.