Crush on a man I really wouldnt want to be in a relationship with...why?!

[PyongyangKipperbang]

Before I start, I would like to make it clear that I have no intention of having any kind of involvement with him. My marriage is on the floor and we will be seperating soon, the last thing I want is any complications with anyone else! Right now I cant imagine being with anyone else again ever......

But.....I have developed a crush on an old school friend. I see him a lot through work and his views are everything I hate. He thinks the Daily Mail is a great paper , voted UKIP in the last election, is an ardent royalist who (and this is the real kicker for me) thinks that the Queen should "abdicate in favour of William". Anyone who says that is immediately filed under "Fuckwit" in my mental filing cabinet.

Yet I have the raging fanny gallops for him, and I have no idea why! As a mate to chat to and have a drink with with our other friends he is fine, but a man with such polar opposite political and social views to mine would never be someone I would conemplate a relationship with. So why I have got a raging crush? I genuinely dont undersand it!

Any insights gratefully received.

oh it's just a psychological kink, don't worry.

I've currently got a big crush on an estate agent (I know!) (

Ooh look up "limerence", a thing I'd never heard of until reading the mn forum, but definitely experienced! I think there's some weird biological reason for it, and emotional need not being met, and just reminds us that we can't be expected to be rational all the time!

Sorry to hear you're having marriage problems, it could be a by-product of that. What might it be telling you about how you really feel but might not be acknowledging?
Rest assured you'll come out the other end of both the marriage breakdown and this odd crush with a bit more self awareness, and hopefully happier. Good luck 🙂

Yeah, thats a good point.

He is an old friend who (I am fairly sure) has got a thing for me, so he is very kind and generous whenever I see him. I suppose that is exactly what I wanted, and never got, from my husband.

I suppose its worrying me because I have always made appalling decisions when it comes to men and I had hoped I had learned a lesson. To have a crush on someone who's views are so abhorrent to me makes me think I have learned nothing at all.

Kindness is the most important thing though - for me, anyway. I've put up with a lot of unkindness - or not kindness..

Mind, I'd struggle with the UKIP element!

I don't think you're in the right space for a relationship or even a fling? What do you think?

No, not in the right place at all.

Just wish I didnt keep having....ermm.....thoughts :o

I have no advice (sorry) but just wanting to say that 'raging fanny gallops' is possibly the funniest thing that I've heard in ages!

Hope everything works out well for you xx

He has reached different conclusions to you on some issues. That doesn't mean he's automatically a romantic write-off or a bad person. I say just enjoy it

Long ago I had painful divorce from the man I loved deeply. It was a friendly divorce and in retrospect best thing that happened to me. But emotionally was ver hard. The only way I could heal was regressing to my teenage years and developing silly crushes.
And gradually moving up. I did not want to be in a relationship with these men as some did reciprocate but I still was not really interested.

Enjoy your crush and don’t worry. Best of luck to you.

You know the best way to get over a crush OP....

You know the best way to get over a crush OP....

Do I?! Whats that then?

It sounds like whilst you're in this crap place, his kindness for you and his crush on you is what your body thinks it needs. It doesn't mean you have to do anything.
Although in your imagination when your alone you can make him say anything you want to and you can vent your sexual frustration that way

Just don't get drink and alone with him!!

Just don't get drink and alone with him!!

Oh dont worry, am well aware of that! I know I am acting differently around him, which is hugely embarrassing

Things are shit, you're allowed to act a bit crazy. You're stressing over it well only make the dreams more intense imo

I may be wrong here [-space to be wrong in-] but ime men can either (erroneously) think you're gagging for them or not notice when you've got the hots for them.

apologies for blatant sexism. This is just my experience.

He probably hasn't noticed - or doesn't compute why you're acting differently. ime with the estate agent I kept away to let it die down a bit. I saw him the other day in the street and although I noticed how he walks like a duck (bless) I also noticed how his dear hair was growing out his dear head, that 'just had a shower' look.

You're not the only (vulnerable) fool here op

Hormones. They are the cause of many a bad decision!

Do I?! Whats that then?

Get under it.

Hell no!

I have enough problems right now without creating more with an affair/ONS. Apart from anything else, one of the reasons my marriage is falling apart is due to STBXH's cheating and I refuse to lower myself to his level. If and when I do move on, it will be when I am free to do so, not least because he would have a fucking field day if I did cheat and he found out. I intend to leave this marriage without a stain on my character (that really will piss him off, wont stop him lying to all and sundry though I have no doubt).