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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

feel so stupid. he's booked a holiday with someone else

49 replies

mycatsnameisbinks · 01/07/2018 22:27

Please be gentle; I feel so stupid and upset at the moment. I've name changed as I think my SIL is on Mumsnet.
My H has recently started staying with some friends as he claimed he was feeling really depressed and needed some time to himself. I've been trying to give him the benefit of the doubt as I know he has had some really bad news in the past year as well as losing a family member recently but he's stopped talking to me about things and been acting really out of character. I realised earlier that he was still logged into his emails on our computer and I saw that he's booked a trip in September for 2 adults and a pre-school aged child.
Our DS is older than that and at school and whenever I've said anything about holidays in the last few months he's said he can't think about that at the moment. I've been really stupid haven't I? All I can think now is that he has an OW and he's been lying to me and my DS for months. Please can someone hold my hand? I'm going to sort out a separate account tomorrow afternoon because I know I need to get everything sorted but right now I can't stop crying.
Sorry if I'm sense; I can't even think straight

OP posts:

SneakyGremlins · 01/07/2018 23:37

Is it his child? Could this be a long term thing?

I'm sorry OP

BewareOfDragons · 01/07/2018 23:43

Sorry, OP. What a shitty thing to do.

SuperSuperSuper · 01/07/2018 23:46

See a solicitor tomorrow if you can. Get everything in place before you reveal your hand.

I'm so sorry that this is happening.

FrozenMargarita17 · 02/07/2018 10:54

How are you today OP?

callywags · 02/07/2018 12:06

What an absolute shit, I am so sorry OP
I am glad you have your DM supporting you. Hope you are doing ok x

narkedwithanarc · 02/07/2018 13:12

Any chance that it's a surprise for you and DS and he just chose the wrong child age?

narkedwithanarc · 02/07/2018 13:12

Any chance that it's a surprise for you and DS and he just chose the wrong child age?

ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 02/07/2018 13:16

Unlikely if it's booked for Sept whilst their DS is at school.

Haberpop · 02/07/2018 13:23

Is the email for him or has someone made a mistake with their email address? I frequently get emails for me to my gmail account except they are not for me for example; my email address is [email protected], someone out there thinks their email address is [email protected] except it's not because gmail sends them all to me. It is very annoying. I keep getting emails for a Freda Smith in Scotland and recently had a sign ups for my name in Canada and USA.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 02/07/2018 13:30

I am so sorry OP. As the others have said, get everything into place in case this is worst case scenario. I hope it's somehow a mistake though.

adoggymama · 02/07/2018 13:33

I LOVE @sirmione16's answer! Sip that G&T like the independent, sassy woman you are.

Beebiesandcheebies · 02/07/2018 13:34

Original poster

mycatsnameisbinks · 02/07/2018 17:12

Thanks to everyone who posted. You made me feel a little bit less alone last night. Been to the bank etc and everything getting sorted_ Got appointments for later in the week I'm probably not going to post anymore now and just concentrate in DS. Haven't confronted him yet but made sure I have copy of email and given all the important docs to my mum for safe keeping

OP posts:

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 02/07/2018 17:18

This is shocking.

Evidence, evidence, evidence.

Even if it’s simply taking a pic with your phone camera of a screen.

LoveProsecco · 02/07/2018 17:20

Sending you a HH. As other's have said get support from those you trust and keep evidence of this plus get legal advice.

Good luck

NorthEndGal · 02/07/2018 17:24

I'm sorry you are going through this, and sending you strength vibes for whatever you have ahead of you.
Take care of yourself

Snowysky20009 · 02/07/2018 19:57

OP do forget password on the email!!

Gemini69 · 02/07/2018 20:02

bethy15 · 02/07/2018 20:46

I know you're not posting any more, but as he's clearly lied to you, you have a right to find out who these people he has booked on a holiday.

I know you said you need to log in, but you know he's done it with his email address. Go to log in and forgotten password and then change the password so you can log in and find out who it is. Has he got a child with another woman?

Good luck with everything, I'm glad you're sorting out separate accounts and getting your ducks in a row.

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 02/07/2018 22:30

Go to log in and forgotten password and then change the password so you can log in and find out who it is

Absolutely no way!!! If he’s locked out of his account that leaves the OP no time to think about next steps rationally as he’ll twig she’s done it immediately.

bethy15 · 03/07/2018 07:31

Not really.

He may think he's forgotten his own password and then ask for a reminder too.

EveningHare · 03/07/2018 07:41

Remember to delete the mail from the deleted box too

PigEyedHorseFrightener · 03/07/2018 07:45

Good luck op 💐

sandgrown · 03/07/2018 08:06

Have been in a similar situation OP and it's horrible but I admire your strength and organisation. My biggest mistake was not getting my affairs in order before I confronted him and he did me over financially. Good Luck

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