Help what do I do now

[Paddington23]

I’m going to give both honest sides of the story here and want an opinion on who’s right we probably both sound like children. And I apologise for the length and the spelling Im just fed up of being nagged at

I’m 23 I’ve got a condition that makes me extra tired and I can be in a lot of pain I’ve also been very down. I’ve just started a new job going from part time self employed to a job I know nothing about till now. I’ve been a bit of a hoarder through out my life not majorly just like keeping the odd handbag I haven’t used in years and excess of cloths. I’ve always said I will deal with my things and never really got on top of it. I promised him at Christmas it would all change I chucked out 4 bin bags of clothing and other bits. I then had some more surgery and had to think about finding a new job. Partner and i ended up buying a house together and moved in 3 weeks ago with the final move of stuff 2 weeks ago. After a long day at work I’m exhausted come home cook dinner have a bath and go to bed maybe doing a little bit of un packing. I booked 4 days off work as soon as I could to finish un packing. For the 3 weeks he’s been nagging be every evening when he gets home from work after me asking what I’ve been doing. He moans about being stressed and tired keeps competing with me over who’s more stressed. I keep saying I’ve booked 4 days off to deal with it he keeps saying I’m lazy and that I could of done it in all my evenings and that everyone else manages with out time of work.

I’m the partner I work in a highly stressful job where I have to work when I get home and at weekends this week I’ve worked about 80hours with the paid overtime. My partner and I have just brought a house together and her stuff is everywhere she has tons of boxes she’s working her way through at snails pace. I’ve already un packed and can’t understand how it’s taking her so long. It’s so stressful coming home after a day at work to boxes whe have been moved in 3 weeks. She has time to do it in the evenings after work I manage to un pack at work until late at night she just chosen to sleep and sit down. she promised me last year she would tidy up her mess. I hate coming home from work to mess after a stressful day. She’s told me she’s booked 4 days off to get it all done but I don’t believe her who takes 4 days to un pack.

So your partner has something like fibromyalgia then? Do you actually understand what it is?

OP, you probably need to show your partner the Spoons Theory article. Sounds like he knows nothing about chronic health conditions and how unbelievably tired they make you.

butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

Why do you have his and hers boxes? You should both be finishing the unpacking together, you aren't flatmates. And if one of you has a chronic health condition a little bit of empathy and support is required, 80 hour weeks or no. Sorry, little sympathy for the DP here he sounds like he isn't part of the team.

We have separate boxes due to not owning anything together before we moved in we new we where buying our own place after living with my mum so only really had our own clothes and a few personal things

I see it from both sides. I have lived with a semi hoarder for over 10 years and it really gets to me. He says he'll sort out the garage etc next hokidya/weekend etc for years to by and there's more stuff instead of less.

But it's also her home and she's got every right to recharge her batteries and Not get stressed out. So you both need to come to some compromise and stick to it.

I’ve tried to compromise he dosnt we had a positive chat this afternoon. I left him at home and walked into town After I flipped my lid for him moaning he texted asking where I was and I said I was calming down and so should he. Came back and we had a chat he apologised said he shouldn’t be taking his work shit out on me. We made up and that’s it for now I’ve got 2 days off to finish un packing