I'm sorry he's been treating you like that. It is not a normal way to behave in a relationship, and it is sure as hell not how you treat somebody you care about or love.
So, basically, things will be fine if you're doing everything he wants exactly as he wants? Except even when you try to do that you're never able to, because he has such changing and unreasonable demands?
What else are the arguments about? Are they genuine disagreements between the two of you, or are they just him kicking off at you for not having done something he wants?
Does the "attention" he's demanding include sexual demands and expectations he's placing on you?
It is incredibly abusive to be treating you this way, just on what you've said alone. It's not acceptable.
You will cope as a single mum. Without him there your little girl won't be growing up in this toxic environment, learning that this is an acceptable way for future partners to treat her. Walking on eggshells in case his anger gets directed at her (and it will be eventually). Frightened at what her dad is doing to her mum. You would be doing a good thing for her removing her from this.
I expect that you have been taught to accept the way he treats you as normal. Maybe because you grew up seeing it from your own father to your mother, or maybe because he's spent the time you've been together slowly brainwashing you and eroding your sense of what is normal.
If this is the first time someone's described him as abusive, I know that may be a shock. You might be thinking of how lovely he used to be, or the nice things he sometimes does when he's behaving like this. That's fine (it was my reaction to). But any amount of abuse is too much abuse. No abuser behaves like a monster 247 because they would never get away with it if they did. Abusers are not monsters. They do get worse over time.
He is deliberately humiliating you and degrading you. That is abuse.
That is why couples counselling didn't work and would never work. This is how he wants it to be. He's got your bending over backwards trying to comply with his unreasonable demands, and blaming yourself for his behaviour. That's what he wants.
Www.entitledto.co.uk can help you with where you would stand financially.
Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk can help you make sense of his behaviour and what a normal, healthy relationship looks like.
You can speak to Women's Aid on 0808 2000 247 if you're able to call when he's out and want to speak to someone about his behaviour and what your options are.
You do not deserve to live like this. You are clearly a kind, caring person. Life can be so much better for you and your daughter than it is right now.