Men that can't make their minds up !

[confusedashell1]

Anyone experienced this ?

Had an on off relationship of sorts with long periods of not seeing each other. I have ended it a couple of times because he pulled away & I was unsure where I stood. He gave a reason why he was put off a relationship. Just to clarify he cannot use that reason anymore.

I got in contact again ( I am smitten) we get on well and he indicated that he was interested in being more than a friend but never actually said so. I needed some clarity as it was driving me crazy so I told him how i felt. Basically that I would like to be more than friends, see how it goes etc . He said he needs to think about it as it was unexpected. To be fair i gave him mixed messages but he is not stupid.
I am relatively new to all this dating stuff after being married for years. Be great to get some advice from anyone that has experienced this.

Not many guys will give up the offer of a short term thing and sex.

You basically keep putting him on a plate with him by the sounds of it but once there's a chance it gets slightly serious or you open up about your feelings he backs away.

I'm afraid to say he isn't interested in anything long term with you.

I agree with Joan. Dob't spend any time worrying about men who can't make their mind up. Move on, find one who thinks you are fantastic.

He has made his mind up I'm afraid - he doesn't want a relationship with you. It's hard, but you will find someone better who does.

"He is just not that into you"

Sounds like a pretty open and shut case of it, sorry. Stop letting him waste your time.

He has definitely made his mind up. He doesn't want a relationship with you.

It sounds like you really like him and therefore find that hard to accept, so are hoping you don't need to. But I'd say he's made it very clear.

I've been where you are and it's hard. I do sympathise.

Best case scenario he's not into you and doesn't know how to tell you because he's a nice guy who isn't good with hard messages.

Worst case scenario he's a user who likes having you around as a space filler and to feed his ego and he'll also be the sort of person to feed you crumbs whenever he senses you pulling away so he can keep you as an option.

Best advice I read on here once was "Walk a mile away. If they want you they will follow. If they don't you'll be a mile away."

“Doesn’t know” = not yes. Sorry.

Move on, find someone who thinks you’re his world.

As PP has said walk away. If he wants you he will follow if not well you won't have wasted anytime waiting for him to make up his mind. Been there two years of it pull me in/ push me away....complete waste of time not to mention emotional rollercoaster. So yes walk away.

They can and have made their mind up and that is to keep their options open. Free sex is free sex. Someone hankering after you is flattering..string them along being vague..dangle the carrot.

I think he has made his mind up, OP...sorry. Don't give him any more of yourself. As a wise woman once said, save your love for someone who loves you.

Thank you for all your replies. I haven’t given up sex since we had a ‘relationship’ but he was defo giving the vibes of I want more. It doesn’t get any easier with age ! But this is Just what I needed to walk away!

I know how hard this is OP.
If a man wants to be with you he will let you know.
Chin up and wait for the man who shows you how much he wants to be with you, waiting around for this man will be no good for your mental health.

He is a knob. You can do better.

He doesn't want a relationship. If he did he'd have done something about it.

I just went back to a guy like this after 2 months of no contact. He was still 'unsure' but when we met the other day was feeding me crumbs like 'who knows' what may happen in the future. Saying enough to keep me around. However, it doesn't work like that on me this time.

If someone wants to be with you THEY WILL BE WITH YOU. There is no umming and ahhing about it. They will KNOW.

Sadly, we just don't want to believe that we have been led on. But you have and I have. We have taken the scraps they have thrown at us and been hopeful that casual will turn into something more. All you can do now is decide whether to not you're willing to put up with this.

I have decided to walk away for good now and find someone who wants me just as much as I want them. Don't settle.

"I really fancy you and want to have sex with you and be with you."

"Oooh, gosh, well, this is so sudden, even though we'd previously been in a relationship. Oooh, now, let me think..."

said no man interested in getting back with you, ever.