Ive fallen for him but i don't know what he wants? [Edited spelling at OP's request]

[Raspberryripplechoc]

I met him almost a year ago at work and we instantly clicked. He had a DP at the time so we only kept it friendly. A few months later they split and we went on a night out with a group of people. We finally admitted our feelings for each other and began dating. It was very intense. We both had a difficult week each in our family/personal life. He became a bit distant and I panicked so ended things and said let's be friends. He made things awkward by cutting all contact. We avoided each other and didn't speak for a good 3/4 months. I was heartbroken.
Recently in the last month things have begun going back to how they were before we dated. Flirty and enjoying chatting. He invited me to lunch with him this week and began messaging again. Where he admitted he was jealous that another guy had taken an interest with me.
Ive fallen head over heels for him but I'm worried and scared he doesn't feel the same and that he doesn't want anything serious. To him this could be harmless flirting but I want it to be more. What should i do?

anyone?

Did you post about this before?

I am not sure what you want you sound very young

Either way, you need to have a conversation with him to know what's what.

If he's mentioned he's jealous somebody else has taken an interest, he could just want you all to himself

No I haven't posted about this before and I'm late 20s.
Well you would think that but I can't read him. I want to ask him but then don't want to spoil the fact we have got back go how we were before. But then I also don't want to be strung along to think we could have a chance in the future

What I'm asking for is advice on what to say that doesn't come across too serious but then I can see if I'm wasting time investing in this and then to try move on from it.

Maybe mention the jealous thing, ask him why he would be jealous and see what his response is?

"We've been dating for a bit and I like you but because of the whole situation where you didn't contact me for several weeks I just want to clarify where whatever is that we're doing is going. If you just want to be friends or keep things casual then that's fine, but it's important for me to know how you feel about me so I can make my own decisions regarding whether I date other people or not."

Or words to that effect. If open communication about what you're looking for "spoils" whatever current situation you have then it really isn't worth having and frankly sounds like a whole bundle of hard work. I'd be honest about liking him (I mean, you don't have to tell him you've fallen head over heels) because it establishes why you're having the conversation, but also be very clear that you really aren't interested in any adolescent nonsense and game playing of him wanting to flirt and play and date and get jealous of other men whilst not actually giving anything of himself and randomly cutting contact when he feels like it.

Thanks for the advice. I guess I could ask why he was jealous as I didn't before. That could give me some indication to how he feels.
And you're right if asking him how he feels spoils things then it's not right for me

I'm at a loss as to what to write to him. I don't want to come across desperate but want to clearly know where I stand. Any ideas?

When will you next see him in person?

I'll next see him on Tuesday in the office.

OP - you are massively overthinking.
You are both young and attracted to each other. Started dating - and broke up on a whim.
Now you are back to starting dating.
You have feelings.
He probably does too - BUT
It’s way to early to discuss any of it, or demand clarity.
You need to date and see how it goes. And next time - don’t panick if a week of life complications arises. If you want a life and a future with someone - get used to life.

We aren't actually dating yet though. Just becoming more friendly and flirty like we did before last year. That's why I'm unsure if he wants to date or this is just harmless flirting to him.

I know this post sounds pathetic but over the past year this has taken up so much of my head space and I'm at the point now where I just want to either move on or give this a go.

OP - take a breath.
You need to find a way to relax, somehow. No single man is worth this much agony.

You are young and free. Enjoy your life. Flirt with him, if you want. Let him chase you.
Just don’t stop living your life and waiting for him.
Go out and see friends. Smile at other men. Go out with them, if you feel like. Or don’t.

You and this guy - may or may not happen. Why would you need to make any definitive decisions now - where it’s not clear what’s happening????
Just let it h fold.

‘Unfold’

I wouldn’t say that you need to know so that you’d be free to date other people. If someone said that to me, I’d tell them to fill their boots, regardless of how much I liked them.

You are going to scare him off. You are asking if he wants to commit to you before you’re even dating. Take it slowly - and if you can’t be patient, then just move on from him.

He’s going to run a mile!

You're right I'm going to scare him away if I mention dating without it happening naturally. Sorry I must sound crazy.

I know how awful this stage is where you aren't sure what's going on and get impatient and want to know but like others said you don't want to be too full on and scare him off so as hard as it might he, try to relax and flirt with him when you get chance hopefully he will ask you out

Take a step back OP, I also assumed you were dating. You're giving him a ticket to run if you start asking all these questions

I know how it feels though. If it's going to go anywhere it will, so let it progress and see where you and up and then consider asking

This stage is awful as you second guess things. I think it's worse because I've been here before with him and it went all wrong! So just worrying already. But I'm not going to text and ask him how he feels as you're right, it will scare him away