Co parenting with Other Woman

[my2ndchapter]

Hello everyone just need some advice on how to handle the situation. My exH has been having an affair whilst I was pregnant, baby was 6 weeks old when he left (and we also have a 4 year old) and he moved straight in with ow and her two kids (8 and 12). He flitted then between us both wanting to be with me one minute (like a fool I took him back) then went back to her, then tried again with me (again took him back but then regretted it and told him I no longer want him) and now he's back living with her again.

I don't mind she can have him, I've been having counselling sessions which have really helped. The only problem I've got is dealing with another woman being in the children's life, I know its going to happen and theres nothing I can do its my exH life but when I go back to work (I have to go back early from maternity leave as he was going to supplement my income) when baba is 5 months old and we are going to have 50/50 joint custody (my job means this is the only way round it and I'm able to afford and keep the mortgage). I really want the children to have a relationship with their dad and I know he will take really good care of them but how can I shift this gut wrenching feeling of having share the children with a woman who caused so much hurt :( (and is there any boundaries I should set?)

Thank you all for reading :) appreciate it!

Does his job allow the flexibility of a baby? Because if ow is expected to juggle 3 dc the majority of the time I would suggest a bumpy ride is ahead.

Its actually 4 dc with our 4 year old too so they will have a 5 month old, 4, 8 and 12! And they both work 8-4 mon to fri (baba will be in nursery and 4 yr old starts school sept), they are both in high up jobs (she's actually a work colleague who's a lot higher than him!) and she's also in her forties (I'm 26, exH 31). I work nights in my job (thats how me and exH used to juggle childcare) hence the 50/50 split.

It's the hardest part of a separation I think, losing contact time with your own dc and then knowing they're having fun with your ex and their new partner.

The only thing you can do is keep busy when they're away, and remind yourself constantly that the most important thing is that your dc are happy.

But in your case I would also take enormous comfort from the fact that his new relationship will be put under strain by these childcare arrangements, no longer an exciting affair but instead the humdrum of sleepless nights and trips to soft play.

Reported Tom.

I've no advice op, it's a very tough situation, I guess in time you'll all get used to it?

Will they be having the 6 week old overnight all week?