I've slowly fallen for someone who's an informal advisor to my project through his organisation (I'm an independent) but I'm in such a quandary to know whether there’s a mutual spark of something more, or not.
We've been in regular phone/email contact for a good while, several business meetings with others and met more informally in person (just us) a few times now. Each time it feels we're getting closer as we've got to know each other better. There's an obvious amount of mutual respect and admiration and I know he likes and rates me, just not sure if in “that way” or not!
I’m single and so is he AFAIK. He is the perfect gent and I know he would never overstep his professional boundaries. I.e the first move would have to come from me, as I don't think he'd ever risk making an unwanted advance in his position.
He's aware I've been in quite a vulnerable place over the last year or so and has just been a tower of gentlemanly support, but quite clear in his professional boundaries. I’m completely stuck though as I do feel a spark of something, but I'm not sure if it’s just me and he is genuinely not interested in anything more. If he is interested, he either doesn’t think I am and doesn’t want to risk making me feel uncomfortable, or ethically thinks it’s just a no go area even if it is mutual (he is a notably ethical man). To be fair, if he is interested, I’ve probably been sending him a tonne of mixed messages (in trying to stay professional) and he could well be doing the same, which isn’t helpful!
The problem is I’ve fallen quite hard and these feelings just aren’t going anywhere. It’s feeling really awkward now whenever I discuss my project in meetings with others, as when I talk of him / his organisation’s support, it feels like I’m wearing such a beacon on my head it’s ridiculous! It’s becoming unhealthy for me and affecting my progress in all aspects of my life. I just don’t have the balls to front it with him though 
although I feel he kind of needs to know as my current numptiness and distraction from it all mightn’t do either of us any good in the long run.
I also think he is a bit younger than me, which took me by surprise when we met, although he is quite hard to age. Plus I’ve not been feeling at my best or most attractive (just got to the stage where I’ve really realised I am looking “old” now (40 something divorcee, beginning to go grey and wrinkly, used to be quite attractive!) and come with lots of baggage! I’m sure he could do way better than me, so I’m risking my pride and self esteem here as well as my project if it all goes tits up!
It's been 20 odd years since I was last on the dating scene - help!
WWYD?