Marriage Worth Continuing?

[Secretgirljustme]

Hi, new member here. I apologise for joining what is essentially a Mums forum but I’ve not had that chance. I just wanted some advice or guidance on my relationship, hope that’s ok.

I’ve been with my partner 14 yrs and married 9 yrs . It’s been ok (he’s got a temper but won’t accept it when I tell him he’s shouting-apparently I misinterpret the situation, which I doubt as I grew up with a father very similar!). Please, don’t think I’ve sought out a daddy replacement lol....not the case at all!!

Anyway we haven’t been intimate for over 7 yrs and whilst I’ve raised this numerous times, he says it’s not an issue as we “only ever had sex once or twice a week when we first dated” and its not a big part of a relationship. Granted I was not very experienced having only had one boyfriend prior to him and have never been the most body confident person. But I’m sure it’s not right...I’d love to feel desired and wanted but maybe it IS my fault? Anyone else felt like that? Sx

He shouts at you and doesn't have sex with you and doesn't seem interested in changing.

So no, it's not worth continuing, most likely.

Does he have any good points?
What do you get out of the relationship?

It appears that he gets to decide what is right for you in your relationship. If you believe he is shouting at you then he is. It's not for him to say how you interpret your reality.

And if you are dissatisfied that for half of your relationship you have not had sex, you're entitled to feel that way.

Ultimately is this what YOU want for the rest of your life. You said it's ok. Is ok enough ? If you look into the future with him does it make you feel happy ?

(As for the point about marrying a man who has the trait you described in your father - nobody consciously seeks to replicate a dynamic. It doesn't mean it's not happening though).

You have not had sex with your husband for 7 years?
Well each couple has their own way of being a couple, the question is are you happy living this way, never being intimate with the person you love?
I couldn't and wouldn't stand for this.
I doubt it will change.
Also the shouting is no good, why are you with him?

Also definitely not your fault, you are mismatched in your libido. You definitely deserve to feel desired. Time for some real thinking about your future together

Why would you think its your fault you havent had sex in 7yrs if he thinks going without for so long is normal?
It isnt normal in my opinion, how did you get to that point?
Regardless if you are unhappy amd he doesnt feel the need to address if you may be better of ending it

No it isn't normal and you don't have a meaningful marriage. Don't waste you time trying to change him. For some reason he doesn't want sex or can't have sex with you. Only he know why but it is an essential part of a marriage. You can find love again!