I’m in a bit of a mess and what I’m going to try and explain, may not make sense. Please bear with me.
I’m properly single for the first time since finding my first boyfriend, aged 17. I’m now 30.... I appear to jump from one relationship to another as It would appear, I can’t be single.
I’ve never really struggled to find someone yet each time a relationship breaks down, I’m convinced I’ll be single forever and quickly find someone to fill the ‘hole in my life’.
During tonight’s thereapy session my counsellor and I discussed codependency and a few things have become apparent. I have an unhealthy relationship with my mother (who clearly has her own MH issues), I mould myself in to being ‘the right person’ for a guy and pride myself on being every thing that they want and need, accepting awful behaviour and mistreatment (emotionally, never DV) although I am scared that the next awful partner could over step the mark and I’d probably just accept it as my self-worth and esteem are so low.
The last thing she said (and I can’t even disagree) was that I need to work out who I am!!!! I’m 30 years old!!!! How can I not know who I am? How do I find out??