Why do people stay when they’re not happy?

[scorpionheart]

I know why I am. I don’t think I’d find anyone else and it’s probably better than being alone. But I don’t understand my OH. I don’t feel loved. At all. I feel like he despises me at times. So why the fuck doesn’t he just pack a bag and go and stay with his mum who is a 15 minute drive away who would charge him no rent and prob wait on him hand and foot. If it’s about being alone he could easily find someone else to take my place in a heartbeat. I think he must love me, otherwise he’d leave, surely? But lately I think that just can’t be true . Does he enjoy being miserable?

I just don’t get it. I don’t really have anywhere else to go. I don’t think he’ll ever leave though.

Why don't you start getting things "in order" so when you do finally split up some thing's are "sorted".

Starting with the house. Who's name is on the rental agreement? If possible get his removed so he has no right to stay.

Sort out the savings and car into your name.

Do you have your own bank account? If not get one and get child allowance paid into there. Siphon off some money if you can into a secret account.

"We're led to believe that the pursuit of happiness is everything.
Honour, duty, loyalty, responsibility, the well-being of others, all must take a backseat to our relentless pursuit of happiness."

XDH lived by this mantra. I didn't. Which is why I stayed (plus shame, protecting the children, fear of financial distress, fear of his reaction to me leaving). But it's also why I eventually went.