By way of a general background, my husband and I have been married for over 20 volatile years. We are totally incompatible, to put it mildly. Husbands needs sex every 2 days and wants me to show enthusiasm and wants me to want it as much as him (I don't), when he does not get sexhe becomes nasty and in the past had resorted to putting me down and shouting at me in public. This only puts me off sex with him. He is very generous and easy going in public but at home whether he is easy going or generous or not depends on his moods i.e. whether he has had sex. This has led to a lot of resentment on my part and I confess that I have very intensive emotional outbursts during our fights because of pent up resentments. We were supposed to go on holiday in Canada and US relating to the children's education and summer camp. A day before we were supposed to leave we had a fight, the fight is pathetically childish, he insulted my father and I demand he apologise which he refused so I took away the picture of his father in our home which he told me I would regret (he has not had sex for 1 week). So as a "consequence" of me removing his father's photo husband informed the children and I he will not join the children and I for Canada/US. This is despite the fact that the trip in US requires extensive driving between states and I have never driven on the right-side of the road (he is familiar with right-hand drive). The children and I have been in Canada/US for 2 weeks now and he has not texted a single time to see how things are, when I did text to tell him the difficultly of travelling between states and my unease of driving his response was "all self-inflicted" (i.e. serves me right). Three days after the children and I left home for Canada/US he sent a text to say he was off to Europe to join a gathering organised by his brother, a gathering he had wanted to go but because it clashed with the family Canada/US holiday he could not attend. My question is whether I am being unreasonable to feel utterly hurt and let down by my husband that he has showed no care for the children and I and had simply found a perfect excuse to join his brother's gathering so as to get out of family's trip to Canada/US which he was never keen. To me, regardless of our fight, regardless of the consequence he thinks I deserve, this Canada/US trip is not a holiday for me but for the children's education/camp. Am I over-reacting to feel that he is utterly vindictive and uncaring by not bothering to ask how we are doing nor show any care whether we have sorted out the travelling between states? How can he punish me on something which has a bearing on the children's safety?