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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Jealousy AFTER the affair

4 replies

alligatorsmile · 29/06/2018 09:52

Asking for a friend (honest!), so am being deliberately vague as it wouldn't be me I am outing. Anyway, the scenario is:

DH had an affair about a year ago. They went through counselling, and have decided to stay together. The affair is over. DW struggled for a long time to forgive, but is starting to move forward. But now, DH, the "cheater", has become really jealous of DW. I know this is a sign that some people are actively cheating - they judge their partner by their own standards. But this is AFTER the affair. Does this happen? Is it a sign that the DH is cheating again, or is it a reaction to something? Friend is very confused and feels victimised for something that is not her fault. Anyone been in this position who has some pearls of wisdom? I don't know what to say to my friend, she is just so puzzled

OP posts:
onceisawabee · 29/06/2018 09:56

He might be afraid your friend will do the dirty on him?

If it continues I sat LTB, life is too short and your friend deserves better

cakecakecheese · 29/06/2018 09:58

Projecting? He knows he's been a shit so if the wife is doing it too then he's less of a 'bad guy'. Or he's worried that she'll get some revenge in. Are they still doing councelling? As it sounds like they still need help.

alligatorsmile · 29/06/2018 10:26

Thank you - that sounds plausible

OP posts:
Pinkmonkeybird · 29/06/2018 11:16

Definitely projecting!

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