Divorce while selling a house

[Gem0404]

Hi, I’m in a terrible, god awful marriage. My husband doesn’t love or respect me. He’s said numerous times he’s only here for our daughter. He’s in the army and works away. I’ve been a single mother for all intents and purposes for the last 4 years, with him coming back and getting his fill of being a part time father at the weekends.

We own our own house and it’s currently on the market. The plan was, and is, to move back to where I’m from so I have more support from my mum while he’s off doug whatever the hell it is he does. We were going to stay at my mums until we found a house we liked or until some new build houses were compete. However I just cannot stand this life anymore, I’m constantly blamed for everything, no matter what the situation or circumstance, it’s all me, my fault. He’s incapable of taking responsibility for anything he does.

Has anyone started divorce proceedings whilst selling their house?? If I were to stay I the house I know a court would most likely say we could stay on in the house until such time as my daughter leaves full time education. But what would happen to assets and the equity of the house??

Really hoping someone can help. I just went in and told my husband how desperately unhappy I was and that once the house was sold I wanted to split, we were supposed to be going away to see his family this weekend and when I told him I was done with the relationship, his only answer was, ‘well you don’t have to come this weekend, I’ll take Isla (my daughter) and you can stay at home” as if I needed any further proof that he doesn’t give two shits about me.

Help! 😔

You need your own solicitor, independent of your husband, right now, Monday at the latest. Have you instructed someone to act for you in the sale? If so, does that firm have a good family lawyer? Your conveyancer will need to liaise closely with your divorce lawyer, it's really better if they're in the same firm, there's less chance of damaging communication breakdowns, and moving money around incurs lower charges for you to pay than if two firms are involved. Using your conveyancer's firm for your divorce may not be possible, it depends on whether the firm considers it has a conflict of interest if they've advised you as a couple in the past.

You need your own bank account right now, too, it would be disastrous if the house were sold quickly and the proceeds paid into a joint account.

Where are all the documents relating to your family finances, insurances, bank statements, pay slips, all that? If you can get hold of these, do so.

Don't commit yourself to anything regarding selling the house before you get full legal advice. Don't make any agreement with a potential buyer, especially don't sign anything before you've had your own, full, legal advice and have had time to consider everything and make sensible decisions.

Does your husband know he's about to be divorced? If not, don't rush to tell him before you've taken legal advice. You need to get your ducks in a row as quickly as possible so you are sure of your position and can deal with your STBXH as calmly and coolly as possible when the explosion comes.

Those are just my first thoughts, others will be along very soon with much more good advice.

Wishing you the best for what's inevitably going to be a traumatic process. Do you have a good support network?

HTH.

I did it. My ex husband was cooperative however and the financial order for the divorce was drawn up and signed in advance. I bought my house in the September (he bought me out) and my decree absolute came through in February. It is possible, but not without risk.