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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Impossible ex - Please Help

2 replies

Rincewind74 · 28/06/2018 14:39

All

I'll keep this as brief as possible - I am at the end of my tether with a difficult ex.

Long story short, we split 18 months ago after 13 years together after she met someone on line.

Since then, she has racked up several thousand pounds of mortgage arrears, has had a string of relationships and distanced herself from our children to the point my eldest daughter is an emotional wreck and starts all her visits to me in tears.

She demands I look after our dogs while she spends weekends away with her new guy, continues to spend money like water whilst spending almost no quality time with the children.

She speaks to me like I am mould - any time I don't do what she wants (often unreasonable or with no notice) she threatens to "go legal" and "ruin" me.

I don't know how to speak to her - If I am dispassionate, she accuses me of being "arsey"... If I try to be nice I am "trying to wheedle my way back in"....

I have lost my job through trying to keep up with her demands, and have had to get whatever work I can - which is barely enough to pay my bills and keep up with her demands.

I am at a complete loss - what can I do to get through to her what she is doing to the Children, who used to lover her but now want to come and live with me full time?

OP posts:
mummmy2017 · 28/06/2018 15:24

I would go see a solicitor. See what the children want, then get social services to help you.

Changedname3456 · 28/06/2018 17:40

Depending on their age, the kids’ views will be taken into account by the court.

Personally I’d have them full time, take the dogs in and have her step up to her responsibilities by paying maintenance.

Doesn’t sound like your career is going to get in the way now so perhaps she’s done you a favour, in an odd way.

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