So what do you do when you have decided it is over but they wont leave???

[Nemo2007]

Obviously I cant physically move him and have nowhere to go for myself and the 3 children so what now?

Nemo, are you ok mate? Whats happened?

been coming a while but he is refusing to go and is infuriating me more by standing bloody folding washing as if he usually does it

He in denial then ?

oh no, so sorry to hear this
Are you sure it's the end?
Is he sure you mean it?
If it definitely is over you need to get advice quick - maybe post in Lone Parents as there are loads of people who have been through this.

am thinking about trying to get a last minute week away to give us some space

I know people like messyoldmess have gone through this - and how - with partners they just couldn't get shot of. The end result seems to be, you have to just put up with it until you can sell the house But keep posting for advice, there's lots of experience on MN.

Totally understand if you have decided it's defintely over that you don't want him living with you, but if he has an interest in the house then he can legally stay. Of course, morally is another thing, he might go when he stops being in denial (if he is).
Neither of you can change the locks on the other but if you go away even for a short time, be prepared that he could say you have abondoned the house and have them changed. I don't know if that sounds like something he would do, but you never know how he'll react. I know you'll want some space so don't let that stop you, just be prepared he might fight dirty. It must be a nightmare.
Are there any MNers near who could help you through this?

mine kept saying he had nowhere to go, but tbh a single bloke should be able ti find a place to stay fairly easily

alas mine was as intolerable to live with to others, as he was to me, so he kept being told to leave, and me being the mug i was let him come back and stay, thinking it would be nice for the kids

i was a bloody idiot, that's all i need to say, and now i wont have him on my property ever again, tho he seems to think i am just being silly

lou thats what he says but told him would be easier for him to go than me and 3 very very young children.

He is currently ironing and watching tv like he is husband of the year..I hate the way he does this its like see why are you asking me to leave I am fab if that makes sense.

does he have anywhere to go?

i have been in the situation where i needed to get rid of my xh,but it was a council house and we were joint tennants,and i applied for something through the court to say he would have to hand over the house to me(but he had been violent towards me so i could argue it was for the kids safety etc).then i got him a room in a homeless hostel and told him he would have to leave the house in 7 days(which was bs)anyway so he may as well feck off.

do you have any male friends/relatives who could help persuade him to leave?or anybody who could come and stay with you till he gets the message?

have you tried packing all his things and leaving them by the front door?

He has a couple of friends he could stay with and also his parents have a 3 bed house and no other children. Am just in a defeated mode at the minute as he knows I cant physically get rid of him.

yeh mine did that, let him bloody well get on with it

i'm sorry i have zero sympathy now for the men who know it is over but refuse to go

i ended up calling the police on him last time he was here, that made him move out thank god

cant believe he wants to come here in july

he can bugger off

Get some legal advice. Do you have a joint mortgage/joint tenancy? Has he been violent? (sorry if you have posted elsewhere about this situation but I don't know the background).
It is actually quite difficult for a single man to get a place ot live if he is out of work or on low wages as single men are bottom of the list when it comes to social housing - but as you say, it sounds like there are people who can put him up so he's unlikely to be sleeping in a cardboard box.

Otherwise, if it's the case that your relationship has ended without any violence or appalling behaviour, then to make him see it's over you need to start separating your lives as much as possible. Don't sleep in the same room. Don't cook for him or do his laundry. avoid conversation with him apart from the practical, necessary stuff (but don't be rude or nasty, just politely distant).