Help please

[ElephantLlama]

Hi

I need some help, I'm a long time user but NC just in case.

LT partner, verbally and emotionally abusive for years. Typical when it's good, it's amazing, when it's bad it's horrendous.

He's put a tracker on my car, and mirroring tech on my phone, following me when I go anywhere and isolating me from friends. I need to get out. But child with additional needs makes it less than simple. Refuge isn't an option. House belongs to his relative.

Can I log this with the police without escalating it ATM? I tried recently to leave the house during a row, he grabbed me and restrained me. Hes refukarled blocked doorways to avoid me leaving the room but this time he put his hands on me and I froze. I couldn't do anything. I was frightened and left with bruises.

I am scared if I call the police they will notify SS and as a care leaver, that's not what I need.

Please be kind to me, I'm trying to get myself into a position to get out with the kids, safely.

Also I will several to rehome my beautiful dog which is devastating. How do I start with that?

If you are long time user then you know your first call is to Womens Aid.
See if you can get through to them.
Get as much RL support around you as you can.
Tell everyone what he's like.
Get onto CAB and see what you are entitled to in benefits, housing, tax credits etc...
SS could also help you here so don't rule them out.

Is there a reason refuge is not an option? They're very good at support.

I've called the WA but no answer on the occasions I've managed to be able to call from another phone.

Refuge isn't an option because my child has complex needs that they won't be able to meet

People around me think he's wonderful unfortunately

You know, I thought like you did for years, and I mean over 20 years. I thought no -one would believe me. I finally 'phoned his parents after his arrest and they response was Thank God for that, we've been watching him treat you like shit for years. This wasn't the only response. I was shocked, but so many people were telling me they'd seen it and didn't feel they could interfere. Turns out nobody thought he was wonderful, I just thought they did.
As for the WA thing, there are often local alternatives which are easier to get hold of. Not easy if he's stalking you but perhaps pm someone you trust (happy to help) and they could let you know what's available in your area.
DO NOT FORGET TO CLEAR YOUR BROWSING HISTORY OR TO USE PRIVATE BROWSING MODE.

Local Women's Aid

They will help you in all ways