Help, can wild mom to be leave her past behind?

[tonyroy]

I'm living with a mum to be, aged 38, first time mom.
She works in the alcohol industry with mainly men, she stops over
at hotels, sometimes sharing an apartment.
She used to get drunk with her male workmates and go on holiday with them (in the first 6 months she was seeing me).
She has little respect for me, once I stayed over at a shared apartment with another work guy and she went to the loo without any underwear on (knowing he was there)
I'm madly in love with her and since becoming pregnant she has behaved her self completely, never touching a drink or being weird.
I'm pretty sure she has cheated on me during the first 6 months and I'm worried once the baby is out she'll revert back to old ways and start drinking and god knows what, Any advice greatly received..

I did know her and I did like her, just not some of the things she did.

Why in past tense? You don't know her or like her now?

She didn't act respectfully whilst you were together for however long, so why did you get her pregnant and decide to start a family with her? Bit late to be questioning whether she'll 'behave' for you.

But I'm not judging her outside my relationship, only since we've been together. All the thread is about the relationship and not before.

But it's not, though, is it? It's about your fear that she'll revert 'to her old ways' once the baby's born, and how disgusted you are with those old ways.

You say that things have been fine since you've been together/she's been pregnant - apart from your suspicion that she cheated on you and her knickerless visit to the bathroom when someone else was in the apartment (which is surely skanky rather than flirtatious) - yet everything you describe with a visible shudder is before then. You don't like the way she behaved but it was fine because she wasn't your girlfriend; now she is, it's not.

You need to discuss this with her. But your question really boils down to 'I'm afraid my girlfriend will get drunk and cheat on me once the baby's born' and that's a bit... sad.

Unless she's got a truck load of free childcare waiting, she won't have the time or money to revert back to her old ways.

I can tell you now, I'm not the same person I used to be pre kids.

Why in past tense? You don't know her or like her now?

She didn't act respectfully whilst you were together for however long, so why did you get her pregnant and decide to start a family with her? Bit late to be questioning whether she'll 'behave' for you.

Past tense as I was answering a question about the past !!

And as previously discussed, in the hope motherhood will change things.

No Fred, the 'old ways' were in the relationship as well. There were never ok!
and yes the question is sad but realistic.

This does not sound like the foundations of a long lasting, successful relationship.

AT ALL.