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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Not sure what to do

19 replies

mpeters82 · 27/06/2018 06:59

Hi,

I met up with a guy I use to see. We had good chat and I was happy. I was surprised how he reacted to something I told him.
He was not a fool but very sweet and he understood why I kept avoiding seeing him. I could see how he was upset for me but continues to not let this stop him kissing me etc.
After he dropped me home I was so happy and thought felt okay. I thought well he knows everything. He has my number and back in the days we first met. I was in messed up situation and so was he. I said to him don't know what happened to me. I use to contact him a lot texting but over the years of being hurt I stopped chasing guys. So I never messaged him after friday he has done all the messaging only thing I did was send a link to help with his something.
I've not stopped thinking about him and it's driving me crazy. I know how much I have changed and think he realized too. I am not constantly messaging him. He did block me on somewhere but he unblocked me.

Should I just back off from help as we ended friday well?If he messages answer but don't go see him?

Because last time it was just sex and yes I did like him but I knew of his situation so never drew in too much and think we were not good to each those days top. So should I just not go and see him again? The whole part for friday was for me to get a lot of my chest and I feel better about that.

I know theres still something between us and feel like it will develop as we both in better place now. Trying to tell myself don't stop it was nice seeing him that's it.

Do you think I should talk tp him? Let it be or what? I feel stupid because I know he not right for he has a lot to deal with. I could never be with and think that he knows we can never be together because of what I told him. It's like I wish him all the best in life and want him to be happy. But deep down want him too lol. He a singer too and just can't believe what's happened. I got his number and not even felt like messaging maybe I don't want to repeat last time. I am feeling mixed up over.

aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhh help

OP posts:

LadyGAgain · 27/06/2018 07:11

I literally have no idea what you're talking about. What context? Please read it back and then fill in the gaps. I'm sure people are here to help but your post makes no sense I am afraid.

Soloooo · 27/06/2018 07:14

I don’t understand what your situation is but I get the impression it would not be a good idea to see him again.

Pandora79 · 27/06/2018 07:32

I don't really get it. But you said you don't feel like messaging him, so don't. Let it go.

There nothing to be mixed up about.

Not really sure what him being a singer has to do with it though.

SparklyMagpie · 27/06/2018 07:35

Yeah i agree, i have absolutely have no idea what you're talking about

But it doesn't sound like a good idea with him

SoapOnARoap · 27/06/2018 08:08

Your post has got me stumped.

I have literally no idea what you are talking about

Original poster

mpeters82 · 27/06/2018 08:46

Thought you lot here would be unhelpful.

Only one kind of decent. Suppose chat to someone who understands

OP posts:

SoapOnARoap · 27/06/2018 09:03

Hi OP, I don’t think anyone has deliberately set out to be unhelpful. It’s just your post doesn’t make sense.

SoapOnARoap · 27/06/2018 09:04

Hi OP, I don’t think anyone has deliberately set out to be unhelpful. It’s just your post doesn’t make sense.

Pandora79 · 27/06/2018 09:07

No one is trying to be unhelpful. But your post genuinely doesn't make sense.

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 27/06/2018 09:13

OP you can't expect people to be helpful when you basically give them no information (and what you to say makes little sense). Your post is incredibly cryptic!

If you could be a little more concise and descriptive of your situation then maybe someone will have some advice for you.

BarefootHippieChick · 27/06/2018 09:16

It's a bit early to be drunk op.

SparklyMagpie · 27/06/2018 09:18

Not being funny OP, but when nearly every poster has said they don't understand, you can't have a pop

wagil · 27/06/2018 09:28

So, you had a problem with something about him when you dated before and you told him this when you saw him again recently?

You sent him a link connected to his problem and you're upset?

This is difficult to work out OP, but I'm trying.

SparklyMagpie · 27/06/2018 09:39

Ahh after having a look, I remember some of your previous threads.

I'm still none the wiser if English is your first language OP, but like last time you are coming across a little aggressive when it's not our fault we don't understand

If you could give abit more info on the situation we'd probably be able to help you

purplelass · 27/06/2018 09:43

I think you're saying you had a complicated relationship with him before but want to try again?

If so, I'd go for it as you may have both changed and learned lessons but be careful and keep your guard up in case it's going down the same route as before.

Of course I may have completely misunderstood what you're saying as it's not very clear - feel free to elaborate and I'll try to do the same!

SunburstsOrMarbleHalls · 27/06/2018 10:08

So this is a guy that you have a history with, neither of you were in a good place at the time and it essentially was just a sexual relationship. In the past you initiated most of the contact but at some point things got complicated you started avoiding him and he blocked you from some forms of communication.

You have recently got back in contact with each other and have felt able to reveal to him a personal situation linked to him which he dealt with in a caring manner. You feel better for telling him but you feel that this issue may actually stop you developing a relationship with him in the future.

This time it is him that is initiating contact and pursuing you. You like him and may want to have a relationship with him but feel it might be better to leave the past in the past.

Only you know if this is the right thing to do for you. It sounds as if the previous "relationship" you had was unhealthy at a time when you were both struggling with various things and ultimately you realised this.

Maturity and circumstances may mean he is a different and better person now but I would be very weary. He could be eager to contact you as the dynamic has changed and he is intrigued by the challenge and wants to see if he can get you back. You mention he is a singer, does he usually find himself in situations were he is usually the one being pursued?

Look beyond the physical attraction and chemistry and be brutally honest, ask yourself is he a genuine good person? Is he good for you to be around? If the answer is yes then why not take it slowly and remain very cautious. If it is no or you are unsure of the answer then be kind to yourself, wish him well and let the past stay in the past.

Original poster

mpeters82 · 27/06/2018 13:26

Hi,

I know deep down me and him are not going to be like before.

Just this chat we had made him realize a lot. We are added on each others social site. But we have been for awhile.
But each day he is like good morning.

I don't mind this as I do follow him on this site. Just the fact I think revealing something about my health. He showed different side to him. We both different now and like I said he not for me and I'm not for him.
Just this feels weird.

I will just leave it be

OP posts:

SparklyMagpie · 27/06/2018 14:01

So you aren't wanting a relationship with him?

I'm sorry but I'm still a little confused

SparklyMagpie · 27/06/2018 14:01

Or are you meaning, since you've told him something personal, he has changed, but in a more supportive way?

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