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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Arghhh

9 replies

Scaredycatt · 27/06/2018 00:11

There's a guy I met through work. There seems to be chemistry and we kissed and have been out a few times in the last few weeks and every time he came back to mine.

I think he's keen. I'm keen although I'm wary of having my heart broken again and so am not over effusive - not that he is either but he does say lovely things when we're together and he told his sister about me etc.

Thing is we probably text each other every couple of days and yesterday he asked if I wanted to hang out this evening and I said yes but then he never got in touch to fix anything up and I didn't think I should have to chase it.

I feel very confused by his behaviour and don't know if this level of contact at this stage is normal or not. I can feel myself starting to fall for him very quickly and I think maybe I need to withdraw from it before I get any deeper.

OP posts:
pisces7268 · 27/06/2018 00:34

I would say make yourself less available to him so he doesn't think he can see you whenever, next time he asks say no you're busy.
Hate game playing but sometimes it needs to be done

Scaredycatt · 27/06/2018 00:37

Do you think? I'm surprised by the strength of How I feel tonight.

I didnt message him to ask if we were going to do anything...so I feel like I didn't make myself too keen but part of me wishes I had.

OP posts:
pisces7268 · 27/06/2018 00:40

That's really good of you, I'd be texting him asking why the hell he hasn't got in contact on the day but I'm trying to be less crazy Grin
I would recommend watching Matthew husseys videos on YouTube if you haven't already, he talks about how to handle situations like this and takes your mind off him when you're tempted to message!

Scaredycatt · 27/06/2018 07:36

Yes I agree. I freaky need to not let my emotions control me

OP posts:
MinorRSole · 27/06/2018 07:43

What an arse, I can't stand flakiness so I'd be out after that barring a good excuse. I'm not in the least bit needy, mostly because I quite like being alone, but I'm pretty quick to go off someone if I think they're taking the piss

Scaredycatt · 27/06/2018 08:10

That's the thing ! It's put me off too - but I feel very confused as I know him
As a friend as well and he's very nice and decent and he does seem to be into me so I don't understand it....i was wondering if maybe he's nervous but I don't know

OP posts:
MinorRSole · 27/06/2018 08:22

If he wanted to see you but couldn't he would have messaged you.
If he didn't want to see you he shouldn't have made arrangements.

It's black and white to me, in your shoes I would be assuming I was a 'back up shag' in case his other one fell through.

Maybe I'm old and cynical but I've never met a man that is too nervous to have basic manners

Scaredycatt · 27/06/2018 09:20

So what should I say/do if he messages since?

OP posts:
MinorRSole · 27/06/2018 10:02

I would just see how it plays out. It's still early days so he doesn't owe you anything as such. Just keep your guard up and don't let him muck you about - and keep your options open!

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