How can I start from scratch?

[Likeapuppet]

Background -

2 x dc (1&3)
Married
Jointly owned mortgaged house
No family - so zero support

I gave up job to be sahm before ds1 was born - turning 3 in August

Ds2 has just turned 1, bf and very clingy.

My dh is abusive. There really is no hope for our marriage now and I realise that.

How do I start over?

As it stands I have no job, no money and two very young dc to care for. I cant afford to divorce dh as I have no access to any joint funds either.

I’m fucked aren’t I?

If he's abusive you may get legal aid to divorce him. Talk to Women's Aid, they'll be able to help you make plans to get out.

I was in a similar situation, although my husband wasn't abusive just drunk a lot of the time. And I had 4 children under 8.
I'd been a sahm for almost 5 years. So I went for interviews and got myself a job, back in the profession for which I was qualified. I did 20 hours a week to start with. I then looked at how to leave. I couldn't claim tax credits unless I moved out, so eventually, the children and I moved in with my parents for a few months. Got tax credits sorted, found somewhere to rent. Increased my working to 30 hours per week. As husband wouldn't move out, he had to buy me out of our jointly owned property, which gave me the deposit to buy somewhere myself. Can't afford to divorce him still, but we now have completely separate lives, save for the occasional contact re the children. Childcare is expensive, but tax credits help with that.
It can be done.

Maybe you should talk to citizens advice about the financial side of things, it is daunting but once you have everything sorted (as in, knowing where you stand) financially your head will feel clearer.
Women's aid or similar charity are there to support you emotionally and practically so use all the help you can get.
Don't give up until you get what you need for you and your children.
Best of luck