Help please - not getting on with internet dating

[Jo61]

I am 57, and have been single for just over a year after one serious relationship following my divorce seven years ago. I have a responsible full time job as a European Marketing Director and am financially secure. I've been on a couple of dating websites - and feel like my self confidence is now rock bottom. Virtually no man has even tried to contact me - at all! I've sent 'smiles' and short messages to a number of men and had no replies whatsoever.

I am starting to think that I actually look like a pantomime dame or a bag lady, or maybe I just can't project myself well through my profile.
I am really struggling and it is getting me down.

Didn't want to read and run

I don't have much advice really except maybe take a little break?

I hate online dating. honestly some of the things I've had sent to me or some of the profiles I've read just make me sick.

I wouldn't let it get you down, I've found alot of the men on there are only after one thing.

Like I said take a step back and in a week or so maybe try again

You're just a year out of a relationship. And, you wouldn't have the job that you do if you resembled a pantomime dame :)

OP, is it feasible to take up a hobby/sport/activity where you'd be more likely to meet someone who (at the very least) shares an interest with you?

At worst, you'd learn new skills and possibly have some excellent weekends or holidays developing those skills. At best, you'll discover a new passion in this skill and someone who shares that passion with you.

It is tough out there! You sound like a lady who has her head screwed on and you are confident in other areas of your life.

i have found that a combination of internet dating and persuing interests that are sociable, and that make me happy is the best thing for me and I would encourage anyone to do the same if you aren't already.

Don't make online dating the only way you meet people, you never know what is going on In another person’s life. Many people are on these sites to just dip their toes in and too many become accustomed to using them to increase their self esteem when they feel the need (or I could be projecting that from me a bit there…!)

It is tough to get your personality across on these things, so try and get out in real life as much as you can, and don’t rely on it! It can be tough xx

I haven't done more than register on a couple of websites and look, because I'm all over the place emotionally at the moment. However, I was on there long enough to see two men I knew (small town); and I know far too much about why they are single - they are ex husbands of friends of mine. Once I extrapolated this level of knowledge to the entire field on there, I had lost interest again.

At our age, everyone is going to have baggage. But having married twice through OLD (actually one was so long ago it was a personals ad), I would never choose anything longterm from it again. Removing people from their context means you don't see how they behave with other people until you have already been charmed by them on their best behaviour with you.

I would start following football, rugby, cricket and chess. Join all the supporters' associations and volunteer to help.

What about dating events instead of Internet dating. I agree with what others have said about the online dating world. I'm not a fan.

I'm having a break and then going to try dating events every now and then aswell as hobbies. The dating events might be a disaster but online isn't working

Thanks for your encouragement and suggestions.

Oh dear. I always assume my posts will be buried in other suggestions but not this time. Sorry for my random thoughts.

Hi. I was successful on match but did a bit of revamping. I made my profile jokey and more interesting, as I found that those were probably the ones I liked to read myself. Don’t be too specific about who you want etc. I had more success when they contacted me, seems the ones I winked at didn’t feel the same a lot of the time! Have fun!

What sites are you on as it might be worth trying different ones, ones geared towards professional people perhaps? Maybe get a friend to have a look at your profile and see if they can suggest improvements?

I do agree about trying dating events and joining clubs and groups.

OP,
There is a specific thread dedicated to this sort of thing - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3284517-Dating-Thread-135-Will-Harry-Ever-Meet-Sally

lots of good advice on there, and some great rules!

Just remember OLD is a numbers game, and don't dispair!

Thanks SurreyDadV I will check out that thread