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Relationships

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Opinions please, is my ex still interested or is this just friends?

5 replies

MatronicO6 · 25/06/2018 23:16

A friend of a year finally admitted he had feelings for me in Jan and was scared to do anything in case he messed up and lost me. I asked to take it slow as I know he struggles with emotions but he moved it on and asked for more and it was great until his job went mental and he was working everyday, he was exhausted and busy all the time. He always spent his free time with me, one night I decided to try get him to open up and asked how he felt about me and he burst out he had no feelings, as he has no emotions so he can't get hurt, obviously I was devastated as it implies he lied and used me and we broke up in a really odd way.

Took the necessary no contact time and then he phoned, I waited a few days to return the call and we spoke friendly I told him that he had to explain what he did, telling me he had feelings and building a relationship and he can't answer it. Since then we have spoke on the phone for an hour or so a few times. He volunteered to help me move. On Saturday i called to ask about something and he was in the pub watching footie with mates told him I'd kill for a pint and he said he'd come to give him half an hour to finish with the fellas. We spent 6 hours together, he didn't rush away even when I bought up the way he ended things. Though he def looked panicked, he made a comment that everyone fucks up and that he doesn't know how to deal with emotions but that he had missed me. We left with what must be the most awkward hug in human history. When I got home he was texting to see if I got home safe and that if i needed to store anything to let him know. Left it there.

And I'm in a state of confusion normally when things go wrong he cuts the person out completely and puts his head in the sand so I'm shocked he met me and moreso that didn't rush out when the talk popped up. But is this just his way of being friends?

Sorry it's so long but I'm Irish and bring succinct and to the point is not in our genes, nor is understanding men for that matter. Thoughts much appreciated.

OP posts:
MistressDeeCee · 25/06/2018 23:33

He's messing you about and you're letting him.

I never understand why men can come up with The Script of usual excuses for not just sitting their arse down and getting on with relationship, and they're believed.

Cue woman analysing to the enth instead of asking him to stop messing about, does he want a relationship or not and if not, bye bye

Even if he wasn't lying about being emotionless or whatever else, don't you want a man who doesn't come with all this hassle? A nice relationship instead of Mr I Don't Know Whether I'm Coming Or Going? He does know really tho - he just doesn't want a serious relationship with you. So he's given you a version of The Script.

He's not your friend. A friend wouldn't treat you in this unpleasant way. Find a man who is both your friend and lover, and be happy

dirtybadger · 25/06/2018 23:33

I dont think it matters. He is a head fuck! Avoid! Everyone thinks theyre the one to change someone. People dont change that much. He will do it again. You can do better. If he wants to be friends, and you can manage that without any feelings, great. But be warned he is likely to continue blowing hot and cold so you have to be resolute in not taking the bait.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 26/06/2018 00:42

My advice is leave him to his own devices and move on. He sounds like a headmelt

Singlenotsingle · 26/06/2018 01:05

Aggravation so early on is NOT a good sign. Things can only get worse the longer you carry on. Know when you're beat and get out now.

PuertoVallarta · 26/06/2018 01:06

Not even friends. He wants an emotional crutch. Yuck.

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