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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What are my options?

5 replies

ARoomSomewhere · 25/06/2018 09:50

18m ago i left my H to move with kids 40m away.
Both kids have SEN and it was an agreed move to a particular school.
Kids school is closing so i need to decide what to do now. H says 'you have to come back'. I dont want to, at least not to live with him. Ive been happier, kids have been happier without our old acrimony.
On Sat we had a short convo about money while parked. He has been paying our old mort (£285pcm) and has had sole use of a 4 bed house. 6m before we moved out we took out a £10K loan (repayments of £175 pcm). These are joint debts. He now wants me to pay half. I said 'yes that is fair' but perhaps we need to work it all out with a formal separation? I have received no maintenance from him at all and he has done no formal childcare at all (except look after kids at mine for 4 days after i had a major Op). I have paid all costs my end.

He took the keys out of the ignition and hit me in the face with them. Fortunately, i put my hands up so just my phone screen cracked. One of my fingers was badly swollen but its gone down now. He stormed off saying: 'next time i see you, it'll be in Court'.
i'd hoped we were being reasonable about this and putting kids first but now i feel really worried what my options might be.

OP posts:
ARoomSomewhere · 25/06/2018 10:02

so i dont drip feed.
i should say that I dont know if the £ is fair but all this was agreed
beforehand re costs etc as a temp situation and we were to make decisions at this point prioritising kids needs when the change of school is necessary.
I think he has assumed i will come back and 'be a proper wife'. I have discovered i can manage fine (better) alone and he doesnt like it. He said he was 'off before he really hurt me' and will be seeing a lawyer.

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 25/06/2018 15:45

I would report this to 101. This is physical abuse!

Please do not move back in with him. Yes, get legal advice and separate formally. Sounds like you and the DC are much better off without him.

He should be contributing for the kids too.

He stormed off saying: 'next time i see you, it'll be in Court This is a good thing (for you!) I doubt the idiot realises that attacking the mother of your kids isn't generally seen as stable behaviour.

ARoomSomewhere · 26/06/2018 08:41

thanks for replying GreenFingers
I just went and did the supermarket shop and collected DD on autopilot.
My finger has gone down now so im not sure how i could report.

I am worried that i wont be able to get back into the marital home if i want to? maybe i should post on the legal board.

thank you so much for your reply. it felt so unreal.

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 26/06/2018 10:13

Hi, Glad you are feeling better but you really need some legal advice. I think you need to go and see a solicitor in real life. You should be legally entitled to 50% of martial assets. Good luck. Flowers

user1493413286 · 26/06/2018 10:16

I would report to the police; even if you don’t want to take it further you need to log it as you don’t know what he might do next time.
Then go and see a solicitor and find out your options.

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