Cliche - how to get him out my head

[awmcghee1]

Ok so hi. I am a gay 27 year old guy and I know the majority if not all of you are women so I guess you can't relate completely but maybe you can, it is about a guy after all. So anyway, I met a guy in a gay club and we hit it off. He hung out at mine the following day and spent most of the weekend at my place. I really liked him. We kept seeing each other each consecutive weekend however he claimed to have depression. Now my ex has depression but the amount of gay guys I have dated since my ex that claim depression is 90%. Anyway I believed him. However his 'depression' meant he took medication apparently which suddenly lowered his sex drive. I bet you can tell already where I am going with this. So anyway he didn't want to sleep with me no longer as he was tired all the time. Apparently.

Cut a long story short. I found out he was sleeping around and has quite the reputation for it. I also found out he slept with someone I knew. My gut was screaming at me for weeks with his lies. I have also reason to believe he lied about having cancer.

He is a parasite he really is. And when I confronted him he had no remorse or admitted what he had done. I was heartbroken, furious and everything else.

I am recently back from having a well earned holiday and I feel purified from him. It has only been a few months.

However I got a Whatsapp from him saying sorry for messaging but I have been thinking about you lately and hope you are doing ok. I have not responded and it has been just over a week since I got it.

I think its a manipulative tactic. But he is now in my mind again. He is a terrible human being but I fear I might still have feelings for him.

Any advice on what to do? I am very very lonely and trying to stay proactive but I really do just want a man.

Don't respond and block his number. You know that's what you need to do. You said yourself, he's a parasite. He;s a horrible human being and you need to question why the thought of a life with someone like that is better than being on your own. I know which option I would choose.
For your own self respect, do not take him back. I know you're lonely but you are still so young, you have plenty of time to meet someone who actually cares about you.

Hi AW,

The only way to move on from someone in my experience is to go no contact, block them if need be (sounds like it may be a good idea here) and then give it time. Youre doing really well by not replying to his message. It won't be tomorrow, but one day you won't feel anything for this guy.

If you're looking to find a partner, online dating might be a good way to get out there and start meeting guys, it's a good distraction even if you don't find the 'one' straight away.

Don't forget to make time to enjoy your own interests both to care for yourself but also as this may be a way to meet new people, depending on what they are.

Also, you know to trust your gut next time!

Oh, and unfortunately I'd recommend an STD test thanks to his sleeping around whilst you were seeing each other.

Thank you everyone. I am HIV negative but probably should get tested again even though I used protection.

Oh, poor you. Users know how to get under your skin - just like a parasite, as you said! Going on holiday was a great idea, and I'm 100% sure he thought so, too, which is why he made his string-pulling booty call just after you came home.

The only cures are the time-tested ones: learn a bit more about how abusers work if it helps you understand, but don't get sucked into an obsession. Be busy and be gorgeous. Get your friends to help you pull his shitty character apart. Over-write him with a fresh body Good luck!