WWYD? Take control or fight?

[TheNameChangeDemon]

Really interested to hear your opinions on this one. I’ve name changed, as he knows who I am on here. I am 47 & have been with my partner who’s 56, for 4 years. I moved in with him about 18 months ago.

He’s becoming increasingly distant, barely talks to me & I find myself doing all of the social arrangements.

Cutting to the chase, I called him out on his behaviour of late and asked him, if this is still what he wanted & he said I don’t know & stormed off.

Part of me thinks, 4 years is worth fighting for & to fight for this but, the other part of me thinks fuck this, life is too short to hang around waiting. What would you do?

We both have our own adult children, independent to the relationship, so none of our own together this would impact on. My heart is saying fight for it but, my head is saying bollocks to it.

“I don’t know” isn’t a yes, is it?

Thoughts?

Don’t do the Pick me dance. Personally, I’d take control, hold my head up and walk away (then cry and eat chocolate).

"Part of me thinks, 4 years is worth fighting for & to fight for this but, the other part of me thinks fuck this, life is too short to hang around waiting. What would you do?"

Do not do the pick me dance or fall further for the sunken costs fallacy (that is what the first part of your sentence reminds me of). It appears that he simply has not got the guts to tell you that its over and he has changed his mind re this whole relationship.

I'd speak to him again, say "I don't know and storming off without talking amounts to a break up in my book. Either you have an honest chat with me (and be honest if you want to break up, I'll deal with it) or I don't think there's much point carrying on".

Thank you for the responses to date. I’m not doing the pick me dance, that’s for sure.

How are you going fight to be able make up for the fact that he isn’t?

What is this "fighting for a relationship" thing? You have to fight to maintain it? I don't get it. Is that code for Do all the work and make all of the concessions just to keep the status quo?