Husband walked out yesterday

[Harryemilyjames]

Really need some reassurance everything is going to be alright, my husband walked out on me and our three children yesterday, I am in bits, heartbroken beyond belief. He said he doesn’t love me anymore and I he is uphappy when he is with me. What do I do now, I literally can’t stop crying. Tell me it gets better....

I'm really sorry. We all have big shoulders on here, and I'm listening. It must be so painful for you right now, but you can't be with someone who is like this. It's hard to believe, but the tears will fade in time. It DOES get better.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this , breakups are the worst especially when being on the receiving end . Let yourself be upset, do you have support IRL? Family or friends? It may feel like you don’t want to tell anyone but you’ll need their support right now.

Take each day as it comes , you’ll have bad days and you’ll have some good as time goes on , the good will outweigh the bad . Be patient with yourself .

Sending hugs and strength

And if it makes you feel better , I think you’ll be better off without this idiot xxx

Are you able to get yourself and the children out to the park or even beach today? I realise it's probably the last thing you want to do... but watching their happy faces and knowing THATS ALL YOU will make you feel empowered.

Give the house a good clean and stack any remaining husband stuff in one room tomorrow if you can.

Call any services ie council etc, to help get your finances in order. Ring the CMS and get that ball rolling?

Don't contact him. Let him be lonely without you all.

This is awful, and I'm so so sorry, purely offering practical advice as taking some control may help you feel better? Xx

The exact same thing happened to me 6 years ago.
I'm so much happier now.

About 5 months after he left he begged to come back. But by then i had worked out that I didn't need his consent or permission to structure my life in a way that felt stable and happy.

Thank you, trying really hard to stay strong..... feel like he won’t know what he has lost until he has lost it. I have got lots of support round me but we have been together since we were 15 so I don’t know adult life without him. So very scared at the moment.

I hate to be the one to say this but be prepared for there being an OW in the background. Look up the script, I hate seeing the same story again and again, these absolute assholes decide they don’t love their wives who have totally devoted their life, sacrificing their career etc to raise his children only for them to suddenly fall out of love.

I honestly wouldn’t believe a word of what he is saying right now! Protect yourself and your children as far as possible. The OW will come out eventually, usually they pretend they have just met each other but it is bs!

He doesn’t deserve you or your children! Get strong, don’t let him away with not paying the full amount of maintenance! If you have a joint account take half out and move it to your own account before he takes the lot for himself.

Mine still hasn't found anyone else to tolerate him.
I was just completely dissociated from his vileness while I had to live in the same space as him.

Op, he's said some really nasty things to you. Remember he doesn't get the final say on what defines you. I bet there's loads about you that's fantastic. Make sure you get the time and space to protect and improve your self esteem and to do things you love.

It will get better, OP. You are shocked and frightened now, but you will soon start to slot things together and begin to forge a new life for you and your children. You are stronger than you know.

Big hugs to you and your children though. This is the worst bit.

Don't beg or plead.

Look after yourself and your DC.

Don't initiate contact with him.

Let his family know what he's done.

See support from a close friend or family.

Remember to eat and keep hydrated.

Did you know he was unhappy? Do you think he's got someone else?

Op that was me almost exactly a year ago.
There WAS an OW who dumped him as soon as she realised he was married with four DC.
It's been hard but it's better every day, he only wanted back when I began dating someone.
Too late.
Don't beg and if it's meant to be it will be.
I was with my exh 24 years since I was 15.
If he doesn't love you anymore don't force it YOU deserve better.
Remember be kind to yourself, keep hydrated and good luck

Thank you everyone, he has just dropped the children back to me and he was crying, hope he finally realises what he has done to us x

I hate to be practical but move any money you can get your hands on. Don't be left without access to any. Trust me, I made that mistake myself. And it does get better. Much. You'll be ok OP xx

Crying? Give me strength. He'll soon stop as soon as he sees OW. He is crying for himself. He doesn't want to be bad guy. But he is.
I hope you are getting ducks in a row and going NC from now on. Do not be nice to him do not be anything to him. Be strong its the only way.
If you are nice he will manipulate you.
I have seen this play out with my friends who carried on letting them in house, Bathing kids etc. They didnt know there was an OW till much later on. Then regretted being so soft.
He needs to know that if hes gone hes gone. If you do want him back its the only way and if he doesnt come back you have kept your dignity. Play hard ball.
Go and see a solicitor and run the show. Not him.

Read Chumplady. Do not be a chump living on hopium.

How are you this morning OP?

So sorry. Take all the great advice on here. Be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve for the end of your marriage. You won't always feel like this.

It seems to have all sunk in now, I almost feel relieved......strange feeling x

A lot of it will be the initial shock of it. Relief is a good feeling try and hold on to that. Look after yourself and keep yourself busy.

Things will feel really different in a few weeks. I am almost three weeks since he left (after months of hell) and whilst I have the odd wobble, it's great. The kids are adjusting well, contact is set in stone, and I have space to breathe again. The kids being with you the majority will really help as you have to find your feet and routines. We've got your back here if you need to offload