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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Brexit has been the final in the coffin

4 replies

BrexitWife · 23/06/2018 21:56

Just moaning really as I know where I want to go but need to wait a bit longer.
The relationhsip hasn’t been good for years. H has the knack to consider that anything that isn’t quite ‘right’ is me being wrong/lazy/not knowing what I’m talking about.
So me saying that looking after two under two was hard work was me being over the top, lazy if the house want perfectly tidy at the end of the day etc... that was until he ended up having to look after them in his own every other weekend (as I was working) and then yep, you guessed it, it was actually hard work.
Didnt trust me when I was said I was exhausted. And somehow stupidly I sort of believe it and pushed through. That is until I was so exhausted I couldn’t get up a flight of stairs and was diagnosed with ME.
Same with my work, dc school etc

So Brexit has come and passed. As an EU citizen I have been terrified of what the outcome could be. And H reaction? Nothing. Not one word or action to show that he would have my back. That our marriage and family was important to him. That he would do whatever he could so we could stay together. Absolutely nothing.
When I needed some documentation from him to try and get PR, he did nothing for about two months and the told me ‘he didn’t want to bother HR with that’ (I needed a certificate from them re health insurance)
When I vaguely asked if he would consider relocating, what did he think our options were if I couldn’t stay in the UK, he basically ignored me (that was way before the UK sort of agreed a deal re EU citizens so there was certainty in what would happen).

I so wish I had recovered from the ME enough to really be able to stand up in my two feet and leave. Send him out of the door and be able to stand up on my two feet financially.

OP posts:
Kaznet · 24/06/2018 02:20

I think your feelings are completely understandable. He doesn't sound great.
I'm so sorry Brexit has caused you all this stress. The whole thing is such a pointless terrible mess

BendyLikeBeckham · 24/06/2018 02:36

it's not Brexit. Its him.

I hope you manage to get him out and get on with your life whether that's in the UK or elsewhere. You deserve so much better. What a shit he is to you.

AsleepAllDay · 24/06/2018 03:29

He sounds appalling & it's clear that your future would be better off without him, when you have the strength to leave. Can you organise your paperwork and the kids'?

BrexitWife · 24/06/2018 06:13

Bendy I know it’s him.
It’s just that Brexit is yet another thing where he is showing how unkind, unsupportive he can be...
And one that I really can’t get passed. How can you not want to do something to ensure that your family isn’t split up, that your dcs can finish growing up seeing their mum?

OP posts:
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