Online Dating newbie

[Mumteedum]

I joined match.com on way whim this week. I've been staunchly in the not ready and not sure ever want to be camp since split with ex 4 years ago.

Been through hell with ex so it's Understandable i know.

Anyway, I've felt bit lonely and boted lately. Ex is having Ds more so it would be possible to go out with someone but I don't get it.

So I get favourited or winked at, but then they don't message or reply if I message them.

I was propositioned by a married man (he got very short shrift) and a boy half my age!?

Chatted to 1guy who didn't ask me a single thing about myself.

Then been chatting to this other guy who seems nice but keeps saying he wants to talk on phone or WhatsApp and it's putting me off.

I only joined on Wednesday!

Can anyone enlighten me? I don't get the world anymore. Sigh.

Newbie here too. if you look on the OLD thread on here, it's full of advice, experiences and all the weird and wonderful aspects of internet dating. The "rules" are particularly helpful.

Ohhh thanks. I will have an search for it. I feel I may just crawl back under my rock where it is safe

Hi I joined up to online dating this week for the first time I also feel like retreating already. I've had so many messages just saying hi. Lots of me requests when I've said on my profile that I can't view meet me. I've also put I only want to date local and I've had messages from men a the other end of the country from me.

Beware of those that want you to chat offline as 99% of those guys are scam artists. Best story I got was how one of them needed money immediately to fuel the jet as he was fleeing a war torn country where he was working and only needed £3,000.

While Match says it's for paying members they offer so many free 3 day trials that the scammers are a large percentage of the members on there.

The reason they want you to go to other means of communication is they get reported and kicked off the site quickly and try to get as many as they can to chat offline to see what they can con you out of.

There are some nice people on there, but you need to be cautious and take your time chatting. Good signs are they are willing to exchange real phone numbers and no excuses and they aren't currently fighting the war on terror and will be home in 3 months....

BTW, I'm not down on Online dating. Met a lovely man 2 years ago on Freedating even though paid for Match and found myself a gem :)

I don't think he's a scam artist but thanks for explaining cos I read that on the advice bit on match and wondered what it meant. He gave me real phone number. I hadn't asked for it though.

We've chatted a couple times through their messenger thing on the site but he wants to talk on phone. Its really off putting. I want boundaries.

But if I go online, he's always online too and often checks my profile etc. Not sure if that's weird behaviour or he's just keen. He's not someone I'd normally be attracted to but trying to be open minded.

Been looking for thread you mentioned @CaveDivingbelle but can't find it. If you know title or can link I'd appreciate it x

I would really just block that guy @Mumteedum if he's pushing your boundaries it's only going to continue

I can't link right now,but you'll find the dating thread somewhere on the first page of relationships, a new one started not that long ago :)

There are some goods eggs amongst the bad ones,as I have recently found out after being single 4 years too

The phone thing might not mean much. I prefer using WA as some chat interfaces are not that user friendly and you have to keep going in and out.
I've also recently started online dating after being single for a v long time and suddenly realised I hate it. Been using eH but have not found it at all productive bar one person I might be going out with this week.
Also downloaded Tinder this weekend as I know it's the most popular app but I can't say I like it very much. It's literally just photos and people either say just one line or nothing about themselves and a lot of people only want 'hook-ups' and you don't know who is in what camp.
Then you match with people, ie swipe the same way on each other, but you don't hear from them and apparently some people just swipe on absolutely everyone so it's meaningless.

Hi, I met my husband through Match, and he is my best friend. We messaged a lot through the app before we met or swapped numbers. It might have changed since we met (2010), but if you couldn't message, it usually meant that they were on the free version, I know some people can't afford it, but it did give me confidence knowing they had paid their subs, (because I thought this equalled commitment to meeting someone). With OLD, just trust your instinct, there are many just out for a shag, if you feel anyone is pushing you, then just shut them down. Before I met my DH, we talked about what we both wanted, including children. I had no time or inclination for time wasters, and neither did he. Just remember, you owe no one, anything. If Something doesn't feel right, move on.