Anyone else's OH not affectionate at all?

[motherhood1]

My partner of 6 years isn't affectionate at all. We've got 3 children all aged 4 and under but we do get time to ourselves in the evenings and a once off date night every couple of months. He claims he's not affectionate because 'that's just not who he is' but that's not true as he hasn't always been like that. For the first 2 years he was very affectionate. It's been going downhill since. He just doesn't ever want to kiss, all we have is a quick peck to say goodbye now and then. We rarely cuddle and when we do it's not intimate. I'm just fed up, everything else in our relationship seems fine but this is important to me. So I guess I just want to know if anyone else experiences the same with their OH?

There must be a reason for the change. Do you think he still loves you? Could there be someone else or could he unhappy about something that he's hiding/is uncomfortable about expressing?

Mine used to try at the beginning - holding hands and back stroking. Now, 7 years in, there is no physical contact at all, apart from, as you said, the quick peck on leaving. No kissing, no cuddling and sex is intitiated by a quick boob squeeze. I have the feeling that, if he could, he'd have sex without touching me as well.

He's ASD and doesn't see a problem, but it makes me angry that he knew how he was supposed to act well enough when we started dating. Now he just doesn't see why he should. I am old and my kids are grown up so it doesn't bother me as much as it should, perhaps.

Sounds like us. Attentive and affectionate when dating but when we got serious, he felt embarrassed and couldt say "I love you" etc. I used to say the only time he physically touched me was during sex (which has always been good). He was able to be attentive to others and I felt ignored - it ate away at me over the years and i became this angry, resentful person who turned to alcohol. It all came flooding out when drunk and today he has told me he doesn't love me anymore and we are splitting up after 23 years together. My drinking has tipped us over the edge but then again, the drinking was a symptom of my unhappiness. So if would really work at sorting it or moving on as it will break you in the end.

Mine isn’t either. We used to cuddle up, hold hands etc but he’s never been the touchy feely type. Getting in the mood for us now consists of me coming downstairs after a wee to find him sitting naked on the sofa. Or a text message asking if I’m planning on coming upstairs.

I used to initiate it but he can only stand physical contact for so long before he has to move away from me so I’ve sort of given up. It’s not good, I just can’t be arsed these days. I have broached it with him but nothing changed. He can’t stand it from the kids either. Still wants sex though!

I pretty sure he still loves me, he’s just getting more insular but I hate it.