Partner worries

[kateshair]

Hi all, please some sage advice...
I have been with my partner for three years now he is a good person. We get on well etc... however he has two daughters (teens) he sees a lot of them.
We don't live together as he has then half of the time. My worry is his relationship with his ex. He states it's all in the past just being civil for the kids etc but I worry that there is more to it.
He sometimes picks up the kids which of course is fine but last week I drove past his exs en route to collecting my daughter and his car was parked up outside.. all ok but when I drove past again forty mins later it was still there... what should I do

It's something you are going to have to deal with. She will never go away.

However I do understand your insecurities. Is she in another relationship? Do they constantly talk and not always about the kids?

My dh's ex had a hard time of letting go of dh when we got together and it made me extremely insecure. However now it's got better and they only talk about dss. They will be civil for the sake of dss. Dh will go into her house during drop offs and stay a little bit (maybe 10 mins) for the sake of dss. I'm fine with this, no issues.

What's making you feel like there is more to it?

I'd say you need to bring this up with him to be honest. You will be able to gage a lot from his reaction. If he's sympathetic and understanding towards your feelings and he is reassuring you then that's a good sign that there's nothing going on.

If he gets defensive and angry, that's a classic sign that there could be a chance (but only a chance) that there is more to it. It could also be a sign that's he's fed up that you don't trust him too though

There is a back story he went away with her and kids on an over night trip a year or so ago.. swears it was just for kids sake but really !

I went to Disneyland for a few days and nights with my ex for DS. It meant nothing other than DS having a good time (Ex was in a separate room) but it may be that he thinks it’s important for DC

Yes it was I'm sure for the kids but it doesn't make it easy to deal with...
Just having an insecure moment I guess

Thanks for the replies. I need to talk to him I think. Of course he will Ben in contact with ex and be pleasant etc but I feel for me I would struggle if he did/does social stuff after all we are three years in here and I'm mid forties 😳... any one else in similar position ? I have an ex and of course we talk but got boundaries in place esp as he is remarried

So he probably went in and had a chat with the mother of his children?! What is wrong with that exactly ??

Also, why do you keep driving past?

Thats a difficult one you have boundries in place with your ex and as such see that other dovorced couples should have the same boundries.
It doesnt always work that way especially if the split was amocable and theyve been together a long time before that which with two teenage daughters I assume thats the case. Therefore three years isnt a long time.
That aside if your relationship is good why not just say saw you parked outside exs for a while is everything okay...