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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner let me down

5 replies

rainbow35 · 20/06/2018 23:37

Hi, I am looking for a bit of advice. Don't usually post on the boards often and have no one to talk to about this :(

A month ago my partner asked if I would like to go on a trip with him down to Wales coast from London in June / July time for a weekend or day trip. So for a couple of weeks he said when he knows how works goes we can arrange it nearer the time and I was looking forward to this. Then a couple of weeks later he tells me that a work mate wants to go there with him to same town for day out to the coast. I thought that this was a bit strange and reminded him that he was meant to be taking me there. He said nothing is planned with his friend and he will take me. I then suggested we could all go together with his work friend to share fuel costs and this was agreed and no date set. Then yesterday while having lunch with him his friend calls him to ask him how much he wants for fuel and can he bring extra people in the car? My partner said yes that's fine. I questioned him about this and he told me nothing had been planned no date was set for going. But I found it weird that his friend asked those questions if nothing planned.

Later that day feeling that he was not being honest I asked him if his friend knew that I was coming on trip when it is planned and he then told me that they were going on Thursday to Wales coast and no room for me to travel with them. He also said it had only just been arranged a few minutes ago. He said he could take me at the weekend instead for a whole weekend but its too short notice for child care.

This has upset me a lot, I knew he was lying, he had tried to plan this trip in secret and only told me because I got suspicious. He would of gone and I would of know nothing about it. Also I am very upset that he had asked me to go there first and then we agreed we would all go there and now I have been left out of the trip. My partner thinks he has done nothing wrong and is not sorry at all.

This is not the first time he has let me down and kept secrets. I am not seeing him or talking to him right now and have no plans to until he apologizes. Am I over reacting?

Sorry for long post!

OP posts:
frasier · 20/06/2018 23:41

No you’re not overreacting, it’s weird behaviour. How long have you been s couple? I presume you don’t live together...

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 20/06/2018 23:43

You are not over-reacting no.

I've never known 2 men with partners and children to plan a trip to the seaside without their partners/children - the whole thing is really really odd, and I'd be pressing to know exactly what is going on.

You say this isn't the first time his kept secrets, what happened before?

FarFlungFairy · 20/06/2018 23:44

Ugh! Just give the prick the flick, he’s flakey lying little wank stain. You could do better!

HeddaGarbled · 20/06/2018 23:46

No you are not over reacting. How unkind and uncaring and selfish and disrespectful of him. Treating you like this and then apologising after he’s had his fun with his friends isn’t good enough either, is it? I’d not see him or talk to him permanently.

Dimael · 21/06/2018 00:05

Anyone who makes promises and then backs out of them to go with someone else is no good in my eyes. Chuck this man out. Why he couldn’t have said I want to go with my friend in the first place I don’t know - would be less hurtful than the suspicious behaviour he is portraying.

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