*sexual assault trigger warning* how do i get over this?

[Brokenapart]

NC for this. Sorry to post in relationships but only go here and aibu (and clearly i dont want to put it there) and couldnt find a more appropriate board.

I was raped 18 months ago. The police have a DNA match, screenshots of messages from the following day where I asked him what the hell he did to me and him responding in a cagey manner. Apparently my statement was good and his was “all over the place”.

I get a call today that theyre dropping it due to “insufficent evidence”. The only thing they dont have is a bloody signed confession! How much more evidence does it take???

18 frickin months of my life. For what? How the hell do i even begin to get over this. I eithet wsnt to die myself or kill someome else right now.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I really don't have any advice other than to take care of yourself and seek out all the support you can get.

I'm thinking of you

Disgustingly conviction rates for rape are ridiculously low & the court cases fucking vile for victims, I'm sorry he won't be punished.
Have you had any form of counselling to help you through this?

I just don’t know where to go with this. I can’t stop crying. I honestly truly wish I had never reported it.

My boyfriend raped me 6 months ago and because my best friend didn’t believe me and come to get me I didn’t report him. So many men get away with this everyday. It’s time something changed. You was very strong to report him, braver than me. And this is what you get for having that courage. I think I need counselling. Maybe try that. Maybe they can help you get over the anger at the injustice of it all.

It’s so wrong, they tell you to report it and this is what happens. 18 bloody months of them telling me it was a strong case and they thought it would go all the way. All over in one devastating phone call. Your right it does need to change. What hope is there for any victim in a system like this.

Im sorry your going through this.
Deciding not to prosecute isn't them not believing you. The police took your statement seriously and pursued it actively. This will go on his record as a reported offence so not a waste of time, if someone else reports him at least it might help prosecute him then. These cases are notoriously difficult to prosecute and I'm sorry that you have been let down.
Reporting this person was very brave and you should be proud that you did so. I wish I'd reported the person who assulted me when I was 16 but I was too sacred.
Have you spoken to anyone? The police or your doctor or some support charities should be able to offer you support or counselling.

You have every right to feel like you do. You deserved to have had the opportunity to get some kind of justice and not to be left feeling like this. What an awful experience of the 'justice' system. Especially since you did so well in reporting it in the first place.

It sounds like you need some support. Do you get regular support from anyone? Rape Crisis have a helpline.

I think I definitely need some support as I currently feel like a big mess of anger and upset. And it feels like my whole world has just stopped stone dead and I don’t know how I will even get it moving again. Sorry that probably makes no sense at all! I think i’m Partially in shock about it all. So many months of waiting and hoping and then Just stop, over, bye bye from the police and just get on with your life. No advice from them as how exactly in the hell I do that.

im so sorry you are going through this what a disgusting man.

i had a read of this, (it was written in 2011 though) and states apparently in Scotland only 7% of rape cases are prosecuted. it talks about 3 women who are suing their attackers in the civil court.

www.scotsman.com/news/rape-taking-civil-action-to-ensure-justice-1-1909964

definitely speak to someone about how you are feeling, and remember you arent alone and we’re always hear to listen

It's good to hear that you are thinking of getting support. Someone on another thread recommended writing down thoughts to get them out so that you can get to sleep. That might help tonight & then tomorrow you can take steps to get support.

You will get support on here. I am so sorry.
Is there a pressure group you could join and network with others and still try to get the *** banged to rights? What about the police liaison officer? Wtf. It's so wrong.
Sorry

So sorry to hear what has happened. Please look for suport, perhaps Rape Crisis

Please call rape crisis if you can. They can also help arrange some face to face counselling.

I am so sorry this has happened to you.
There is also The sexual Assault Referral centre as well as the rape crisis centre.
I think at the very least you won't have the lifetime regret that you didn't try and do something about it and maybe the experience scared him enough to not do it again.
I'm horrified it took 18 months to come to this conclusion. I think it's appalling.
I'm afraid you just need to move on now because you don't deserve for this to affect any more of your life.

So sorry that this has happened to you. Please, please don't feel any regret for reporting it. You did 100% the riight thing, and as a PP above has said, may help to convict him if god forbid he does this again.

It's so important to encourage rape victims to speak out, these types of crimes thrive on the fact that the victim is too scared to speak out.

You have been so brave, please seek out some support to allow you to move on from this. He has taken enough from you, don't let him have anymore.

xxxxxxx

I think you were very brave to report it. This is now recorded...and the report will mean the rapist is on police radar. It is very likely that you have prevented future rapes, and if he rapes again it will be compounded evidence. It` must be very difficult for you to see that results, but you have helped others.

Please try find some professional support. It will help you a lot. The sad case is that many have experienced this, and the support mechanisms are important in moving forward. You are not alone.

So, sorry fir the tmi but i was told today by police he admits to getting my poo on his penis but says he “cant remember” anally penetrating me. So the police have said “sorry but because he doesnt remember, we cant prove sex occured so no case”. Well trust me i am not in the habit of smearing my poo on mens penis’s for fun! Thats why they withdrew the case, because apparently us both saying we woke up naked with my poo on his penis is aoparently open to interpretation. Forget the consent issue. They havent even addressed that. Apparently what both I and the perpetrator agreed on, isnt enough evidence to even consider the consent issue. WTF?