My last relationship ended with me being ghosted after 3 years (on/off). Took me a while to get over it.
Have been seeing someone for 5 months and it's going exceptionally well. He's absolutely amazing.
However I've noticed something in myself that I don't like and I want to stop doing it. If I sense any kind of loss of interest/lack of effort, no matter how small, my instincts tell me to back off. Completely. It's as if I just assume they're done/it's going to end so by shutting down and waiting for them to make an effort or to just not get in touch again, I'm taking myself out of the equation and won't get a nasty surprise.
I'm basing this more on the men I dated casually before meeting DP. He's incredibly attentive and demonstrative. However this evening I rang him, it went to voicemail, and instead of ringing me back he sent me a brief text instead. He's always ring me straight back before if we missed each other. I feel like not replying but I know that would be unfair and immature as chances are he's just busy.
Can you kick me up the arse please? He's a wonderful man, we're great together and I really don't want my inner saboteur to ruin it 
.