Is my friend right to be annoyed with me?

[lifesteeth]

Basically our kids go to the same school (same year). Anyway a few weeks ago my friend asked me if I would mind picking her daughter up for her on a monday night after school as she was at a craft course (just hobby, not work related), the course finishes at 2:30pm but she wanted to stay until 2:45pm (??). Anyway the week she asked me I was due to start my first day at work and so really didn't want the extra hassle of picking up someone elses child from school when I was stressed enough about starting a new job the same day...BUT I said I would.

Anyway I've been doing it now for the past 4 or so weeks (she has been picking one of my kids up another night in return but I still had to go and pick the other one up). So anyway 4 weeks ago this started and all the way home I have bickering and tormenting and tale-telling and it does my head in, especially when I've been at work all day.

Anyway this week I have upped my hours so I can work voluntary in a department that interests me, this means I no longer get to school for 3pm, my own kids have to go to the kids club so I told friend that I wouldn't be able to pick her's up either....so she has been a bit off with me since, surely she shouldn't be annoyed about me changing my work hours just because it interupts her hobby?

Anyway yesterday I had to get to the post office urgently after school so went a different way home so that I could get there earlier and I think I annoyed her because she had waited for me only to realise I wasnt walking her way home...(I did explain but she seemed annoyed still).

Anyway tonight (the night she usually picks my son up) she didn't text me at all like she usually does and didn't wait for me after school like she has done for the past 2 years so I think I've really upset her.

Am I in the wrong here?

Oh dear - was everything ok between you before you increased your hours?

yeah we were fine...She's never been very supportive of me starting work though and keeps saying about how we can never do anything anymore as I'm always working. She has her husband to support her though, I don't and I need to work for my own independance, future and sanity.

Message withdrawn

I can't see that you've done anything wrong at all. Ignore her off-ish behaviour and be your usual self - don't dignify her mini-strop with any response and it will probably sort itself out.

Perhaps she feels a bit rejected, she might be avoiding you in order not to be hurt if you don't want to chat/walk home with her.

She is being irrational, but has probably reacted to feeling resentful that you are 'leaving her' to start work, she may even envy you the independence and job interest, and possibly (as you do sound a tiny bit stressed and letting everyone know it about work) feels you have been talking about your stress / work and not enough about her? But she is being over-touchy and high-maintenance, if you ask me.

Find time to have a coffee and talk it through, and what your new patterns mean, and how can you start a new pattern of helping each other out within the new timetable?

i agree with blu, maybe she would like it if you arranged something, maybe a coffee and some cake or a couple of glasses of wine one evening, it would make her feel included but if she decides not to then maybe it's just a case of outgrowing a friendship.