This is a rather sensitive matter, and one I know thousands of others will be going through.
I am 13 weeks pregnant, I fell pregnant with a person I had been dating for a very short time who had already started to show signs of being verbally abusive, so I called the relationship off. It began when at 2 am entirely out of the blue, we were both in bed he started to punch the bed and then shouting random things, slamming around my home. Then a second time walking down the street, he started to scream at me because I couldn't get my web browser to load to show him a clip I had seen earlier in the day about a mutual friend. How ever after I ended it I found out I was pregnant.
I called him and told him, his first response was "so we are in a relationship then", I said straight away "No, however I would like to maintain a positive co-parenting relationship with you as I would like you to be involved with the child as well".
He has been up and down, one minute he is OK with co-parenting, the next he is calling me and being verbally abusive, then saying he wants nothing to do with the baby, then grovelling.
I said I think it is best that we keep this solely about the baby to avoid any further outbursts, which of course caused an outburst and he threatened to kill himself.
He states he is getting anger management. Which I believe he is, however he calls me just to shout abuse at me.
I have invited him to the scans, because I felt it appropriate and to involve him - I feel like a bad person if I do not keep giving him the opportunity to prove he will be a good father. Seeing him set me into an anxiety attack, which was horrendous. I have a history of miscarriage and a few years ago left a physically violent marriage, his aggression and seeing the baby for the first time just set me off.
My issue is now, is the on going. I do not answer his phone calls, and opt to only speak via text message and only about the baby. He tries every time to mention he and I being in a relationship.
My family and friends are incredibly supportive about the matter, and they feel I have given him ample opportunity thus far.
I feel like I am drowning, my baby comes first, and always will be my number one priority - do I cut him off now, with the reasons outlined above....... OR......... do I allow him a further opportunity to prove himself.
I do not want my baby to be affected, the child didn't ask to be born into this and it is my responsibility as the mother to protect this child, equally I want to ensure my child has the opportunity to know their father should he prove he can change.
I just need to speak to someone, another woman who has been through this / going through this. Despite having support, I feel so alone.