Distant brother

[BWrose]

I used to get on well with my younger brother. I'm 35 and he's 27.

Over the past 18 months or so, things has been iffy. I understand that siblings grow up, take their own path and life gets in the way. Problem is there's nearly nothing now between us. There's been no row between us to cause this drift. He hardly talks to me and any time I talk to him, he barks or grunts. We are at a family function recently where he talked to many people and he was chatty but he was hardly able to say one word to me.

We are friends on Facebook as well. Contact and interactions has been nil there. I just learned of something recently where he has me on a restricted list. A picture came up but not in my timeline or whatever and another sibling liked the picture which would tell me that my other brother isn't restricted.

My Facebook is limited and I'm careful on Facebook and it's fairly organic from me. I used it to keep in touch with people at home and abroad. I'm not nosy or prying either.

I don't know what to make of it all.

Nothing from 18 months ago that would have caused upset between you? You may not even realise that what you “did” (or didn’t do) was wrong but he’s perhaps interpreted something the wrong way?

Reassess and manage your expectations accordingly. My younger sister and brother get on way better with each other than me. It was uncomfortable to begin with, but I've gotten used to it. Now I just breath and smile when I'm brought up-to-date with their relationship.

As for talking with others and barely to you at family gatherings, that happened to me at his first wedding. It did register with me. I'm not one for forcing an issue with people as to whether they match up to how I feel they should be around me. It's up to them.

Is your mum still alive? What type of dynamics does she encourage between her children?

Maybe being the older sister is making him feel off-kilter atm! That happened in my case. Especially when my mum died. Now we don't even contact each other. But I'd always be there if he needed me and vice-versa.

I should add OP. My second point in the post might seem cold and aloof, but I've had to do this for emotional well-being. He's a user and manipulater. Our sister dances to his tune. I won't.