I am not a woman and nor do I have children although feel that I need guidance and feedback from people who have survived the dating scene and ultimately found their life partner.
I am 45 although been told I don’t look my age, have a full head of hair and a thirst for life and adventure. I do not really date and have not ventured down the internet dating world as I remain sceptical on the absence of ‘tells’ you can get from meeting someone face to face. I work in a male dominated industry and occasionally do meet women. For work, I have been part of a team where a particular person has been present on three separate occasions (over the last three years). At the last meeting about eight weeks ago, I decided to speak to her and after asked if she would like to meet for lunch. This went really well and received an email thanking me for the time. Recognising that we have a mutual interest in historic buildings, I replied asking if she wanted to see a national trust property sometime. I received a positive response several days later.
Since the initial lunch, we had been on five wonderful dates where each one was no les than 5 hours. We talked and talked and I thought we really hit it off on a number of levels. It actually surprised me to have found someone with such similar views, morals and aspirations. A far cry from a previous seven relationship where I felt like I had to fight to keep us together despite differences.
I got to understand that at 35, this person had been out of a relationship for a few years and didn’t really date people either. She is eccentric in her own right with a left field humour to match mine.
Date number five was a key moment as we had such a wonderful time together at the gallery, followed by a romantic dinner and late drinks at an intimate club bar. Recognising that it was after midnight and the tube network was about to close and we had to dash to catch the last train when I asked when she would let me kiss her - her response being whenever I wanted. We kissed under the midnight sky and ran for the tube.
What I am genuinely struggling to understand is the following weekend where we met on the Saturday to peruse a special event I had arranged followed by a visit to a village fate visit and a cup of tea at mine nearby. All seemed to go very well and held hands a few times and snuck in a few kisses. I was nervous but it seemed to have been a successful day resulting in her asking to meet me the following week for a dinner at mine. I didn't speak to her until the Sunday when she told in 3 minutes into the conversation that she wanted to be friends. There was a pause on my part as I truly was not expecting that. When I enquired, she mentioned that there was something missing and thought we should be friends as she would miss not having me in her life. The difference in 24 hours has left me lost.
I don’t fall in love often and never felt like I had met someone with whom I had so much in common with. I have had few partners in my life as I am after a soulmate with whom I can share the rest of my life. I have been described as being slightly eccentric as I don’t really fallow the pack. Meeting someone where there is a true connection is therefore more challenging and rare.
The thing is, I don’t know what to do. I am beside myself with uncontrollable emotions and really only want to be with this person. Please help.