How long and plausibly can cheaters lie for?

[OhFucko]

H has had an emotional affair 'I love you' 'you're amazing' 'I wish we were together always, maybe some other time things will be different' bla bla bla. Fucking bla.

He refuses to admit that anything physical happened. They hugged once when she was upset. That's it

He's usually a shit liar who I can see through in a moment but he's very insistent, earnest and believable about this.

I can't ignore my gut.....but he's kept this up for several months now.

I just need to know. I've tried every way to get it out of him and nothing.

Any wise words/company in my misery would be much appreciated

Same happened to me, I still do think nothing physical happened but couldn't forgive the 'I love you's' and 'your my soulmate'. So after a few months of trying and counselling and one episode of coming home at 9pm!!!!! To find him blind drunk I knew there was nothing to save. Needless to say 1-2 days later(?) he was with her again and now 2 years later (finally divorced) still there.

The script is to deny unless confronted with evidence. They don't want their spouse taking away their wank fodder so will lie and not feel guilty. The more they lie, the easier it gets for them.

It's not a court of law is it? He's not innocent until proven guilty. If you've had enough then say so.

My ex kept it up for the 15 years we were together, over and over and over again.

It's so hard in the beginning, what am I going to do? where am I going to live? what will I do for money? needless to say kids. I promise you living a life looking over your shoulder, wondering and guessing!!! so much worse than an few months of stress, worries and hurt but the other side is so blissfully good. Trust me I was the one who it would never happen to and then it did and he was an arsehole about it when it all finally came out. Script and then some. I am so happy and so is my DD, which she wasn't a couple of years ago

In my STBH's case, 7 years.

7 years of cheating and lying and planning stuff behind my back, with various OWs.

Fucker.

If you've lost trust, and respect, your relationship is irretrievably broken IMO.

You don't need 'proof' or an admission.
You need to take control back and decide what YOU want to do.
Don't wait for him to make decisions for you.

A family members husband kept it up for 17 years and had a 'secret' child with the OW.
She had found out about this OW in the beginning of the affair and he convinced her it was a one time thing, moved to the next town and had counselling stayed, had 2 kids, they seemed very happy tbh.

One day he just upped and left her, moved in with OW and that was it.
Family member had a breakdown and was hospitalised.

So yeah, fuckers like that can keep up the lie for a seriously long time.

Once the trust is gone it's very, very difficult to get it back.