Are all men like this?

[TwinkleMerrick]

My boyfriend doesn't live with me, it's a long story. We have a baby together, and he often stays over at my house. I have asked him to help out with the house work as it's all getting on top of me with having a month old baby.

He agreed, but I often have to ask/remind him. I haven't asked him to do a lot, wash up, hoover and take bins out. Anyway, when I have to remind him he always kicks off saying 'it will get done' or 'stop moaning at me'. Issue is, if I don't ask it doesn't get done! it gets left until he leaves and then I end up doing it.

I basically do everything! In the space it takes him to do 1 chore I do 5. When he does 1 chore it's like he has solved world peace. Honestly it's like having another child in the house. I often prefer it when he isn't around because it's less mess to clean up and I get to watch what I want on tv. I generally feel more relaxed when he isn't around. Not sure what I want from this post, just a vent or to hear that I'm not the only women who has to deal with this.

Anyway, I'm off to do the washing up as once again he hasn't done it

No, all men are not like this.

I wouldn't be in any hurry to move him in. At all.

No, not all men.

I think many people slack off and let their partner take on a mother role, but many people are grown ups and manage to act like one.

I'd have a good think about why you're together if you prefer it when he's not there

Does he work?

Why is he staying over if he doesn’t live there? He’s getting it all his own way. He’s like a hotel guest! Is he contributing to food/bills for the nights he stays over? If not, you’re being taken for a mug!

He doesn't contribute, it's a long story which I dont want to go into. He does work but is off atm with a broken foot. But saying that, it's been like this for a while.....way before he broke his foot.

I won't be rushing to move in with him. He is a great dad, maybe just not a great boyfriend.

What exactly is he bringing to this relationship?

No, definitely not. He sounds like a waste of space.

What do you get out of this relationship now?.

How can this person be a great dad if he treats you like this?. Is your definition of a great dad really this example from him?

Women in poor relationships often write such comments when they themselves can write nothing positive about their man.

How does being a "great dad" manifest itself?

nope. my ex (father of my kids) was definitely the "cleaner" in our relationship.

In my experience a lot of men are hugely avoidant at doing anything remotely like pulling their own weight when it comes to the mundane housework crap, I am sure there are some out there as proactive as women in getting stuff done but when I look at the dynamic of most couples I know they are rare.
Whatever you do, don't move this lazy moron in, then you will most definately be clearing up after 2 children. Do you have anyfamily close that can help a bit, babies at this age are exhausting!9

No. My Dh does lots of house stuff as well as all the food shopping and cooking.

What makes him a great dad? Looking after the home his child lives in matters too.

My DP doesn’t pretty much the same amount of housework I do. I do a bit more but I have more time (and also enjoy the cooking and food shopping which are two of the more time consuming things) If I had a month old baby he’d be doing it all.