Sick of feeling worthless

[Lostgirl1987]

I am so my own worst enemy. I am sick of being single (12 years!) yet allow myself to be treated terribly by a man who really doesn't care about me. Why? Because in my sad little life he gives me a pathetic spark of feeling good, of feeling attractive, of excitement. I can hear you all telling me, as I would tell someone on here, to let go and move on. I know this. When your self esteem is low it's difficult. And the more I do this the more low my self esteem becomes. He doesn't treat me terribly as in any abuse or anything, it's more he won't commit? He tells me how he wants a relationship yet is still inexplicably attached to his ex (not romantically but she has some strange hold over him?). Just found him online on a dating site. This is after he texts me how beautiful I am, how he wishes we could wake up together, etc etc. I consider myself to be an intelligent person and yet where this man is concerned I am pathetic! I KNOW this. Help?

You need to let go of this man. He doesn't want to commit. Remove his number from your phone. Block him on all social media - go cold turkey and then start to work on yourself. Practice kindness and self care to yourself, become your own cheerleader and go out do activities you enjoy without considering if you might attract a guy. It will be painful but worth it.

Thank you Kikashi I know I have to do it but it's easier said than done isn't it?

Honestly, you are worth more than this even if you don't think so! Do you have a good circle of friends? Concentrate on them, rather than him.

I also agree with Kikashi, you need to cut this man out of your life if he is making you feel like this. I would also seek some counselling for your self esteem. It really does help, I've been through it myself. If this man wanted to have a full on relationship with you and valued you, then he would have done so by now. If he's on dating sites when he has someone willing to have relationship with him, then there really is no future for you with him.

Please, please, please think about yourself. You are worth it, he is not.

Thank you. I need to hear this! I sit here waiting for him to text me! It's ridiculous! I don't get changed just in case he decides he wants to see me! I need to tell him before I cut him off I think I wouldn't feel it's 'closed' until I do? Does that make sense?what do you suggest I say to finish it?

I've deleted him off contacts, Instagram and WhatsApp! Feel good!!! Still got him as a friend on Facebook tho as he'll know I've deleted him if I unfriend him!

It's ok to tell him that your relationship is over, before you cut him off. In fact surely that is better because then hopefully he will leave you alone.

You will have to have a plan though - like spending time with friends, giving yourself treats and having something to look forward to. And keep a diary to log your progress! Try meditating too. Keep busy for a while. Best of luck . Oh and remember loads of people have been through this and done it successfully - you can too!

Seacabbage thank you. We don't really have a relationship for it to be over haha! It's a case of him spinning me a load of shite, TELLING me how he wants to be with me etc....... but never following it through. He texts me almost daily, tells me how beautiful I am, what have I been up to blah blah blah! It's lovely but pointless and I honestly do think, actually I KNOW, that the only reason I keep falling for it and obsessing over it is because nothing better has come along. I am a single mum and have been for 12 years. I have brought my son up all alone and think I've done a bloody good job. But it's been very lonely. Everyone else seems to be able to go out, socialise etc, whereas I haven't due to childcare and money. My son is 15 now so I can start doing things for myself more. I tried OLD and met a guy for a date and he wasn't interested. Hence I got back in touch with this man for, if I'm honest, an ego boost!!! I always think I'm strong enough to deal with him messing me about! But I'm not. Him being on an online dating site has just completely made me realise that he isn't interested in me!!!

Being single is ok! There are lots of attractive worthwhile people who are single. Get used to and confident of being single then see what happens. You do not need this man and he is not making you feel good. Get fussy!

This is the thing! I LIKE being single. I just get lonely. I get a little 'lost' and stuck in my ways. I often feel very unattractive and this man makes me feel beautiful for a while. I know it sounds pathetic lol.