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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My bf dumped me out of the blue and im so confused

8 replies

user1469032438 · 19/06/2018 09:48

Bf of about 9 months, things have been great all that time, nothing to suggest anything was wrong then on Saturday he text saying we need to talk, we spoke on the phone and he said he didn't feel like I was being open enough with him or talk to him about my problems we spoke about it everything seemed fine, carried on as normal then yesterday he text me saying something like "i need some space to clear my head im so broken at the moment and i just need time to find myself" i was very upset, mostly because it was on text he didn't even have the balls to speak to me in person. I just replied ok take time im here if you want to talk. Then he said "this isnt easy for me either your great ive just ignored my own problems for too long and need to focus on me" so i just said I understand. And left it there.

Then he text me this morning saying "just thought you would want to know, I've been the doctor and my chest fucked i need to quit smoking and they upped my anti depressants" i said ok well I'm here if you to talk or want support quitting, hope you feel better soon. He said "its going to take a lot longer than that to feel better this time round"

Here's why im confused, i never replied to his last text because half of me wants to ignore him, half of me wants to text back something along the lines of you dumped me BY TEXT out of the blue and now you want my sympathy? Fuck yourself.
and the other half want to be nice and understanding and try and support Him but i dont know how to do that. If he wants to break up fine but why then text me with your problems?? Im so confused about where this is coming from. He starts a new job monday so i dont know if its all related and he needs time or if im better just blocking and walking away because I can't handle being picked up and dropped willy nilly at the moment.

Do you think i should walk away or try and support him?

OP posts:
TheFaerieQueene · 19/06/2018 09:53

Walk away. He hasn’t got the balls to treat you with respect, so why waste your energy on him. He wouldn’t do the same for you.

Sorry.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 19/06/2018 10:00

Walk away, this individual is selfish at the very least and also has no respect for you.

You cannot and should not act as a rescuer or saviour in any relationship. Do not let this man play on your heartstrings and give you a lot of old flannel about him in the process.

Snowysky20009 · 19/06/2018 10:00

Walk away he's using you as a crutch that's all.

Guiltypleasures001 · 19/06/2018 10:02

He's got the hump cause your not chasing him op

I salute your integrity

snewname · 19/06/2018 10:02

I'd have more sympathy for him if he hadn't done it by text.
If he used those words, do you think he thinks he's actually finished it though. It sounds a bit ambiguous.

I'd either walk away or have a proper conversation, then decide. It does sound as if he's in a bad place right now.

user1469032438 · 19/06/2018 10:17

snew thats partly why I'm confused as well because it is ambiguous, he hasn't actually said its over BUT then I feel like he must know its ambiguous so why would you leave like that if you still wanted to be together and i shouldnt have to lower myself to asking him for an answer. Part of me feels like it's his mental health and i should give him time and part of me feels like he's gone about everything in such a cowardly way i should walk away now. But i love him. Argh.

OP posts:
snewname · 19/06/2018 10:21

Have a proper conversation and then decide.

GetInMyNelly · 19/06/2018 10:23

Block.delete.move on.

I wouldn't even give him the time of day, he sounds like he's seeking sympathy. Don't give it!

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